Friday, March 9, 2007
fire
The signs of the times were getting worse. As the years go by it's harder and harder to worship God. We were having a discussion on recent events. The community we lived in was sponsoring a tribute to the new alcohol factory set up in the neighborhood. It had given jobs to many local residents and increased the population, bringing more money to local businesses so a large party was being planned to honor the CEO'S and owners of the company. The whole town was required to attend because the city managers wanted a unprecedented attendance. All political shenanigans. Bill boards were erected all over town glorifying the almighty beer bottle.
Obviously we as a church had to decide to not attend. We were against the effects of alcohol: increased car accidents, deaths, alcoholism, family violence, teenage pregnancies,etc etc etc.
Well, since our intentions of non attendance were presented to the mayor, we had been under a magnifying glass. People came through out the days to warn us that our decision was not making us popular with the locals. Members of our church were being harassed on the streets, crosses were being torched on their lawns and their children were bullied at school by other kids being coached by their parents at home. We lost quite a few adherents to the other side. It was just a party after all. They didn't have to buy any liqueur and they could be left in peace after wards. Basically, they succumbed to the pressure and ignored God's prompting.
So here, three of the church officers, sat in the business office, in the late hours trying to find a solution that would be acceptable to all without compromising our believes. And praying. Praying is always tops on the list to be sure we're doing things God's way.
Some of us started squirming in our seats. Something seemed off. It was getting warm so Abe got up and adjusted the air conditioner, this is when he noticed it. Steam was slipping slowly under the closed door. We jumped to our feet while Mark reached for the door knob. His hand jerked pack instantly, red and blistered. We were trapped. The fire was right outside the door and there was no exit. We poured drinks (lemonade, cokes, etc.,this wasn't a closed door liqueur party) onto a jacket and stuffed it under the door.
I pulled a table over to the wall under the windows. We were in the basement of the annex so the windows were up high, very small and just above the ground. I could see feet milling around. Great help was on the way. On further inspection I realized the feet belonged to the fire committee. Those in charge barbecuing the meat...us. We, the hard core members of the church, were being executed. Some of those outside were wearing white sheets with holes for eyes to disguise themselves. Like we'd be able to identify them in a few minutes!
Abe broke some windows but it wouldn't do any good, none of us would be able to squeeze through the tiny openings.. The door was starting to smolder and the roof was starting to cave in on us. Would the fire alarm or sprinklers go off. No. The cowards in white had taken care of that. I could see the mayor in the crowd. He bent down and peered in.
"We warned you guys. Hope we send a strong message to the rest of your group with this little happy hour." He stared at us real hard. "Hey, who is that fourth guy with you?"
We looked around. Who was he talking about? There were only the three of us. Odd, even though flames were entering our space and fumes were replacing the oxygen we felt no discomfort, no labored breathing, no sweat poured from us. We felt no adrenalin rush, no panic, no fight or flight response. Mark's hand had healed of it's red blisters.Those outside were experiencing considerable discomfort,though. The sparks were bouncing off them and igniting their sheets. Fools, they could step back but they wanted to watch us suffer. One or two actually passed out from the heat.
The Mayor started shifting from foot to foot. Agitated. He stared real hard at something behind us. " Hey, guys, get some axes. This has gone far enough, let's get these guys out!" He ordered. His helpers seemed genuinely confused.
"It's gone to far,Ned. They'll press charges and I'm not going to jail for this." One of his comrades announced. "No, way," others proclaimed.
Ned grabbed an ax and started swinging it at the window enclosures. His allies couldn't get near enough to stop him, so intense was the blaze. Those that tried keeled over dead from the intensity of their own fiery creation. We stepped backwards into the inferno to avoid being struck by the ax or flying wood fragments. Someone pushed me forward away from a section of blazing roof that dropped to the floor,
"Thanks" I said.
"For what." I heard from two sources in unison ,no where near me or visible through the smoke.
"Who pushed me?"
"I don't know, someone just splashed water on me." Abe declared.
Eventually we were able to crawl out, with help Ned offered, pulling on us. I was the last to exit and was the heaviest and widest. It took some effort to yank me through the enlarged opening but I received an added push from someone behind me. Who? Everyone else was out. As the last foot touched ground and we raced to safety the building collapsed. Perfect timing. Those that chanced a backwards glance spotted a man slipping away from the rubble, smiling and whistling. Totally unharmed. Totally transparent. Totally awesome.
"Where's the other guy?" Ned asked. Looking around. We shrugged, not attempting to explain what we suspected. Ned smelled horrible. Smoke,sweat and fear all emanated from his body. His clothes were ripped, smudged and frayed. We smelled like Old Spice and Dial soap, and still looked presentable. Not bad for near victims of a raging bonfire. Those that had intended to kill us has been ensnared in their own plot, lying scattered about on the ground. Fire engines wailed down the street.
"You guys tell your church they don't have to come to the welcoming party. It's not that important anymore. In fact. I think you might see me on Sunday mornings, if I get out of jail in this lifetime." Ned announced. Sometimes you just can't believe what your ears hear. This was one of those times. Ned was a hard core drinker, non-believer. I wish I knew what or who it was that changed his mind.
The next day the fourth member of our committee came by my house. He'd been out of town on business and had not yet heard about the church annex burning down.
"Any thing new happen while I was gone?" Daniel queried.
Proverbs 1:10-19
Daniel 3: 1-30
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
earthquake
- This trip to my mother’s has certainly brought my daughter and me closer together. At least we’re both in the front seat! She with her IPOD attached to her ears text messaging some unseen friend while I drove and listened to the news. Another Amber alert has been issued, a local alert warning the public to be on the look out for two brothers who didn’t make it home after school. They were probably playing and lost tract of time. Scruffy, the family pet, (don’t call him a pet to his face) jumped up and growled. Boy, he was really stretching his little ten-pound body to get my attention, yapping in my ear at some unseen danger. Little dogs get excited over miniscule things.
The earth started to shake abruptly; it actually got Cindy’s attention. She dropped her cell phone and pulled the plug on her IPOD. The road shook some more. The trees on the side started to sway. Rocks started to slide down the hillside. Scruffy howled in my ears. I hit the brakes to push him back just as a large tree toppled on to the hood. If I had gone a foot further it would have landed on the roof and crushed us! Scruffy sat back and sighed with relief. How did he perceive these things? Some times he could be down right spooky.Cindy and I pushed on our jammed doors. Thank heavens I’ve been on a diet so we crawled out the windows, six months ago it would have been a tight squeeze. I gasped at the sight around me. The back road was blocked with rocks, and a two-ton tree was preventing me from going forward. I’ve lied about trees jumping out in front of me so often my insurance company will love this one.
Cindy tried to call her dad, my husband, on her cell phone but didn't get a signal. This was a little used back road with no prospective traffic. It looked like the best course of action was hoofing it, something Cindy was unfamiliar with, I informed her she would pick it up easily, just put one foot in front of the other, over and over again, until we see civilization. She gave me the look.- I grabbed some emergency supplies I kept in the trunk, a flashlight-radio-toolbox combo, first aide kit, sneakers, snacks and water, and bundled them up in a blanket. Off we went through the woods, with Scruffy in tow. He was a tittie baby, no leash needed; he went wherever momma went.
- Up ahead between the trail to grandmother’s house and us several big ugly looking wolves crept into view. We stopped advancing, they started advancing, we commenced walking backwards, they kept coming forward. I scooped up Scruffy who was acting all Napoleon, (little dog syndrome), gave up caution and ran! The wolves were hot on our backs. I heard Cindy wail and turned to see a wolf snag her red cape, then a tremor hit and we tumbled, down a hole, sliding on an uneven rocky, dirty slope until we thudded on the bottom, several stories below. Everything I carried scattered over the floor. Thank heavens nothing broke, except the snickers bars. We were barely scratched, however I had a wet spot I suspected came from Scruffy who was performing some incriminating self-grooming. I had to think about this, walking through woods to grandma's house, a red cape, wolves. Why does that sound familiar?
- We found ourselves in a huge black chamber. It’s miraculous we fell down a slope instead of plummeting to our deaths into the center. Cindy began to trek into the cave on the heels of Scruffy who appeared to be following something. I advised waiting here for help until I spied the wolves leaning over the opening, growling angrily. They kept testing the gap with their enormous claws as though considering following us. I decided to remove temptation and leave the range of their sniffers.
- We stayed along the wall, leaving rocks piled on each other or marks here and there to retrace our way if necessary. Something started coming towards us in the total darkness past the range of our flashlight. It was another light! And it was moving fast, up and down like a roller coaster. It couldn’t possibly be a train: could it! The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel? Maybe we were in a subway! Keep dreaming. I aimed the flashlight and caught view of two kids on a bike! One pedaling and one perched on the handlebars, legs on either side of the single headlight.
- It seems they had been looking for the missing kids from the Amber alert when the seismic activity occurred dropping them into this cavern. The girl’s bike had been severely damaged so they had to double up on the banged up metal survivor. A boy, James, with tattoos and a girl, Vicki, with jewelry in her nose, brows and upper lips. Brother and sister. They were ecstatic to see other people.
- Cindy took one look at the girls facial piercing and said, “Mom….”
- “No!”
- “But mom,…”
- “No!”
- The newcomers to our afternoon outing informed us that the path they came down was a dead end, so we proceeded down another tunnel, on the advice of an inner voice. Yes, I hear voices in my head!
- Cindy lagged behind to apply lipstick and conceal the smudges on her face with powder. Thank heavens she had the presence of mind to bring her purse! I scowled at her and noticed for the first time the attention James was trying his best to not pay my daughter. He had offered to let Vicky ride the bike solo and was keeping pace a few steps ahead of Cindy. Teenagers! Keep on ignoring her, I mentally advised.
- We trekked on, leaving markers as we went and crunching on candy. I told you I had emergency supplies!We sensed a strong draft coming down a particular passage way and gambled in its favor. There were many little sub caves along this route. Scruffy got excited and raced off ahead, barking fervently. He found a way out! No. He found some more kids! Great. They were tied up and crying. It seems we found the two misplaced brothers. Their brand new wicked stepmother had plotted to get rid of them and stuffed them here, in a cave so dark you couldn’t tell if your eyes were open or shut, until she made better arrangements. We never would have found them if Scruffy hadn’t led us to them. He was sitting on his haunches wagging his tail and looking up at something only he could see. Like I said, spooky little dog. The way out had to be near! Unless of course with my luck it had been concealed by the recent earth-moving event.
- “Don’t ever complain about being grounded again,” I counseled Cindy as we loosened the rope on ankles and hands.
- The terrified young boys had been in the dark, alone, and crying for some time. When they were released from their bonds they clung to Cindy and me for dear life. Scruffy jumped up and greeted them with warm wet kisses eventually relaxing them with his winning ways. Thank heavens once again for chocolate, I offered them some with bottle water.I was beginning to feel like the pied piper. I was now hauling five kids and being led by a dog in pursuit of freedom.
- Cindy called out in pain, she had twisted her ankle and James bent over eagerly to examine it.
- Yeah, Cindy, that trick is pretty old, I thought, but said,” Let’s stop to rest for a minute. I’m sure you're okay but I’ll bandage it up.” I proclaimed, elbowing my way in front of Romeo. Extricating the first aide kid from our bundle I wrapped up a perfectly normal looking ankle, no swelling, no bruising. Hmmmm.
- As we sat and regrouped, James started singing, “Oh, God our help in ages past….”
- “Wait, you know church hymns!” I blurted out.
- “I play drums in the church band,” James informed me.
- I gawked. Tattoos, leather vest, head bandana, church band; didn’t compute. What kind of church, I started wondering, probably not a legitimate one.
- We all joined in the singing between sips of water and candy munching. Gradually we started hearing yelling. Looking up I noticed some light starting to become exposed overhead. People were up there moving tree limbs from a sheltered opening and calling out to us.
- Climbing up on a boulder I started lifting the younger kids up to reaching hands. Then James ascended, after hoisting his twisted but salvageable bike up, and stretched his arm down to grab Cindy’s wrist. A prominent ink sign on his forearm proclaimed, “True love waits”. I blinked. It was getting darker, I had definitely misread that.
- On the outside, a man praised me for shooting two flares up through the tiny opening. He added our singing helped them to pin point our location. I have no idea what flares he was referring to, but my singing should have been a warning sign not a beacon of hope.
- A crowd of saviors was at hand, having been nearby searching for the abducted boys. My husband was present; he’d been looking for me for hours after finding our car. He recognized it by the tree on top of it. He did not intend to call the insurance company again. He then had found Cindy’s torn red cape and feared the worst.
- One of the group, a woman, started retreating, inconspicuously. The kids we had liberated started pointing and bellowing, there went their abductor! Their dad hurled himself at her and she was heaved off screaming her innocence, tied like her victims had been. I’m guessing that was the end of this marriage. Imagine being on the search team for kids she had been responsible for hiding. I bet she hadn’t put her whole heart into the hunt.
- James and Cindy were off to the side exchanging cell phone numbers, I presumed. Oh, what the heck, the kid didn’t seem so bad now. True love had better wait!
- Up in the sky two shooting stars, the "flares" traced a path towards home. Mission accomplished, they had been busy guiding and protecting some of the human race, noticed only by the canine. Not bad for a days work. Now they had to file their reports before retiring for the night. Guarding humans was exhausting, but an angel’s work is never done. Well someday it will be.
- Back at home I just finished a soothing hot bath, laden with soap suds and aromas, when the door flew open. Doesn’t anyone here know what a closed door means?
- “Mom!” Cindy cried staring at me. I slapped my hands over my belly, but too late; my secret has been exposed.“
- Okay, just one!” I answered the unasked question, “But only in the navel like mine, no nose, tongue, cheeks or brows.” I’m really going to have to learn to lock the doors.
- Psalm 34:7
- Psalm 104:4
- Psalm 139:7-12
- Isaiah 30:21
- Matthew 18:2-7
- 1 Corin. 7:1-9
- Heb 1:14
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
It Happened One Night
I came home from work exhausted. I stuck my mail in my purse and climbed the stairs to my apartment ready to slip into some house shoes and sleep the night away but...darn; I made a previous commitment at a time when I had temporarily lost my sanity. My Sunday school department was going to bring comfort and cheer to a homeless community downtown and I wanted to look as pious as the rest so I signed up for the expenditure, thinking it would help me out being seen by the upper stratosphere in the church. Looking in my pantry for something to eat before I went to the church I realized payday was still a few days away and my food supplies were languishing, along with my landlord’s patience; I was few days past due on the rent.
Slapping some peanut butter on a slice of bread, I grabbed my supplies for tonight, a bag of coats I had purchased at good will, pulled on a sweatshirt and coat and headed reluctantly on my way out into the cold dreary darkening night.The church caravan of vans and cars was loaded up with all the donated goodies and ready to go, they had just been waiting for me, (darn it, they did not have to, they could have gone on and I could have gone back to my cozy warm bed!). We drove to the grimiest part of town I had ever seen. I would not come here in the daylight, let alone at sunset.
The caravan pulled up under a bridge that sheltered several trashcans being utilized as community space heaters by dozens of scroungey looking men and women. Make shift lean tos, pup tents and cardboard boxes were scattered about with sleeping bags and small individual sized “space heaters“, these belonged to the elite property owners who never ventured far from their meager belongings.
A band of men separated from the human waste pile and met the lead car, which held the minister, Bro. Mike. After a short discussion one of the men shook Mike’s hand and directed him to a parking area where we popped open our trunks and set up for business, handing out socks stuffed with toiletries, blankets, coats, bibles, and lastly but not least a treat of hot dogs and hot cocoa!
Joshua, the man that had met us, placed several men at each station and went about encouraging participation in our services by the many scarred, soiled and odorous persons present and those newly arriving. Numerous physical and mental ailments were present in this group of homeless individuals, weeping sores, hacking coughs, bronchitis, paranoia, mistrust, and alcoholism, to name a few. I wished I had thought to bring facemasks and gloves for protection, not to mention a bullet proof vest and pepper spray! (Talk about paranoia!)
Slowly a few curious and needy approached the cars and accepted our ware, warmth for the body, stomach and soul. I could barely conceal my dislike for these vagabonds. Why should I help those not interested in helping themselves?Joshua and a man named Tom came to my car to help distribute coats. Joshua was a comfortable person to be with, but I certainly was uneasy about the scars on his forehead, and the blood stains on his gloves.
What I thought would be a meager supply of jackets for this large group became an infinite supply. I could have sworn we’d run out by now but for every arrival Josh pulled a coat out of the trunk. I started mentally counting, at least sixty had come and gone, I could have sworn we only had about fifty coats! As we handed out each garment, I automatically said “God bless you” to each recipient with no genuine expectations while Josh simply said, “Bless you.” I felt the conviction of his sanction, as though he really predicted results.
At one point I had full hopes we would have to pack up and go as weighty drops of moisture fell from the skies, (thank heaven’s we can go!-sang my soul). Tom even remarked on the timing of the potential thunderstorm the weatherman had forecasted. Josh merely responded, “Why are you always so doubtful, Tom?” The rain clouds receded.
During some of the lulls while the impoverished gathered at other booths, Josh would fill me in on the lives of some of the dispossessed souls,(excuse me, but did I look like I cared? Pardon me if I yawn.)One young girl had been beaten by her drunken parents and wouldn’t go back home. I had asked why she didn’t seek a shelter and he informed me that the shelters could only house so many and it was first come first serve. Since the young girl was still trying to finish college she did not always make it to the shelter in time if she stayed to long at the library studying. Wow, she had more determination than I did. Homeless and still striving for an education.
One “gentleman” was a lawyer. This I found hard to believe, but Josh described a series of mishaps caused by undiagnosed bipolar disease that sent the man’s livelihood spiraling down hill until it reached rock bottom.
Another man lost his job and apartment because he did not have sufficient financial reserves having imprudently chosen to attempt to supplement his income with gambling. This hit a nerve with me, as I tended to hit the slot machines and casinos in my spare time, which is why my rent was late. I existed from paycheck to paycheck, I was but one paycheck away from living here myself. Josh fixed his eyes on me with this story, as though he was reading my psyche.“What are you staring at me for?” I asked defensively, it was as though he knew my thoughts; that I feared the same fate could be in store for me. He gently lowered his gaze to my sweatshirt, which advertised a gaming casino in the area. I blushed; I had not realized what top I had seized in my haste. This particular casino survived on most of my income!
“If you were a gambler, and I’m not saying you are, the money would be better spent on pursuing a career“
“What makes you think I don‘t have a career?”
Again, he looked down at my purse where a brochure for higher learning I had sent off for was showing itself, it must have been in today’s mail.
The last straggler approached the car and I had to inform him we were out of coats.
“No, there’s one more,” Josh informed me reaching into the trunk’s dark interior and producing the last coat.
I investigated one more time and confirming it was empty, I closed the trunk shut. How did the supply last until every single needy soul received one?! I latter learned that no one left empty handed from any of the make shift distribution booths. Every one was amazed at the unending source of supplies. What was the cause of our luck!
Now, at last I could get a hot dog and some hot cocoa to warm my interior. On the way to the hot dog stand I noticed Josh had some difficulty walking, apparently his feet had been injured in the past leaving him with a permanent limp.
Nearing the food station I discovered the lawyer hugging and crying with Carol, our church secretary. It seems Carol had been looking for this man for years. She had just handed him a hot dog and gone completely speechless, those nearby feared she was having a stroke. He was barely recognizable but it was definitely her lost forty-something baby brother. A lost sheep had been brought home!
“Looks like my family will be short tonight.” Josh sighed, happily, shivering. He had not gotten a coat and had personally given the last one away! How had I not noticed that?! Was it because I was in such a hurry to finish up and get out of here?I do not know why I did it, don’t ask me to explain, but I offered Josh my coat. I would be able to purchase a new one on payday if I avoided gambling. As I helped Josh into the coat I noticed more blood stains on his shirt back.
I also did something else beyond my comprehension. I sought out the young college girl and offered her a couch to sleep on until she graduated in May. She accepted ecstatically.It‘s not like she had never slept with strangers. She wouldn't take up much space since everything she owned fit into a backpack. As it would turn out, she would eventually get a degree in social work and I would work for her with hours tailored around my school schedule!
The newly found lawyer/brother would get pharmaceutical help for his problems and lobby for the hapless friends he left behind.
The man who had lost it all through his own folly got a job with our lawn maintenance crew and went on to own his own business, employing only those down and out but willing to improve. He wouldn't do any landscaping for casinos, (no need to tempt his luck.)
Having learned that bad things do not just happen to bad people, (and that but for the grace of God, there goes me!), a different girl boarded the van than had gotten off it hours earlier. (Had I learned so much in such a short time? What have I been doing with my life?) I found my coat draped over my seat. Looking out the window, I saw Joshua, washed of blood and limpless, with his eleven loyal followers trekking down the highway. I bowed my head and thanked God for allowing me the privilege of meeting the most famous dispossessed man of all.
Eccl. 9:11-12
Mark 4:39-41
Mark 15:17
Luke 9:58
Luke 24:39
John 20:24-28
Rom 12:9-13
Rom 12:20-21
Rom 12:17
Heb 13:1-3
Slapping some peanut butter on a slice of bread, I grabbed my supplies for tonight, a bag of coats I had purchased at good will, pulled on a sweatshirt and coat and headed reluctantly on my way out into the cold dreary darkening night.The church caravan of vans and cars was loaded up with all the donated goodies and ready to go, they had just been waiting for me, (darn it, they did not have to, they could have gone on and I could have gone back to my cozy warm bed!). We drove to the grimiest part of town I had ever seen. I would not come here in the daylight, let alone at sunset.
The caravan pulled up under a bridge that sheltered several trashcans being utilized as community space heaters by dozens of scroungey looking men and women. Make shift lean tos, pup tents and cardboard boxes were scattered about with sleeping bags and small individual sized “space heaters“, these belonged to the elite property owners who never ventured far from their meager belongings.
A band of men separated from the human waste pile and met the lead car, which held the minister, Bro. Mike. After a short discussion one of the men shook Mike’s hand and directed him to a parking area where we popped open our trunks and set up for business, handing out socks stuffed with toiletries, blankets, coats, bibles, and lastly but not least a treat of hot dogs and hot cocoa!
Joshua, the man that had met us, placed several men at each station and went about encouraging participation in our services by the many scarred, soiled and odorous persons present and those newly arriving. Numerous physical and mental ailments were present in this group of homeless individuals, weeping sores, hacking coughs, bronchitis, paranoia, mistrust, and alcoholism, to name a few. I wished I had thought to bring facemasks and gloves for protection, not to mention a bullet proof vest and pepper spray! (Talk about paranoia!)
Slowly a few curious and needy approached the cars and accepted our ware, warmth for the body, stomach and soul. I could barely conceal my dislike for these vagabonds. Why should I help those not interested in helping themselves?Joshua and a man named Tom came to my car to help distribute coats. Joshua was a comfortable person to be with, but I certainly was uneasy about the scars on his forehead, and the blood stains on his gloves.
What I thought would be a meager supply of jackets for this large group became an infinite supply. I could have sworn we’d run out by now but for every arrival Josh pulled a coat out of the trunk. I started mentally counting, at least sixty had come and gone, I could have sworn we only had about fifty coats! As we handed out each garment, I automatically said “God bless you” to each recipient with no genuine expectations while Josh simply said, “Bless you.” I felt the conviction of his sanction, as though he really predicted results.
At one point I had full hopes we would have to pack up and go as weighty drops of moisture fell from the skies, (thank heaven’s we can go!-sang my soul). Tom even remarked on the timing of the potential thunderstorm the weatherman had forecasted. Josh merely responded, “Why are you always so doubtful, Tom?” The rain clouds receded.
During some of the lulls while the impoverished gathered at other booths, Josh would fill me in on the lives of some of the dispossessed souls,(excuse me, but did I look like I cared? Pardon me if I yawn.)One young girl had been beaten by her drunken parents and wouldn’t go back home. I had asked why she didn’t seek a shelter and he informed me that the shelters could only house so many and it was first come first serve. Since the young girl was still trying to finish college she did not always make it to the shelter in time if she stayed to long at the library studying. Wow, she had more determination than I did. Homeless and still striving for an education.
One “gentleman” was a lawyer. This I found hard to believe, but Josh described a series of mishaps caused by undiagnosed bipolar disease that sent the man’s livelihood spiraling down hill until it reached rock bottom.
Another man lost his job and apartment because he did not have sufficient financial reserves having imprudently chosen to attempt to supplement his income with gambling. This hit a nerve with me, as I tended to hit the slot machines and casinos in my spare time, which is why my rent was late. I existed from paycheck to paycheck, I was but one paycheck away from living here myself. Josh fixed his eyes on me with this story, as though he was reading my psyche.“What are you staring at me for?” I asked defensively, it was as though he knew my thoughts; that I feared the same fate could be in store for me. He gently lowered his gaze to my sweatshirt, which advertised a gaming casino in the area. I blushed; I had not realized what top I had seized in my haste. This particular casino survived on most of my income!
“If you were a gambler, and I’m not saying you are, the money would be better spent on pursuing a career“
“What makes you think I don‘t have a career?”
Again, he looked down at my purse where a brochure for higher learning I had sent off for was showing itself, it must have been in today’s mail.
The last straggler approached the car and I had to inform him we were out of coats.
“No, there’s one more,” Josh informed me reaching into the trunk’s dark interior and producing the last coat.
I investigated one more time and confirming it was empty, I closed the trunk shut. How did the supply last until every single needy soul received one?! I latter learned that no one left empty handed from any of the make shift distribution booths. Every one was amazed at the unending source of supplies. What was the cause of our luck!
Now, at last I could get a hot dog and some hot cocoa to warm my interior. On the way to the hot dog stand I noticed Josh had some difficulty walking, apparently his feet had been injured in the past leaving him with a permanent limp.
Nearing the food station I discovered the lawyer hugging and crying with Carol, our church secretary. It seems Carol had been looking for this man for years. She had just handed him a hot dog and gone completely speechless, those nearby feared she was having a stroke. He was barely recognizable but it was definitely her lost forty-something baby brother. A lost sheep had been brought home!
“Looks like my family will be short tonight.” Josh sighed, happily, shivering. He had not gotten a coat and had personally given the last one away! How had I not noticed that?! Was it because I was in such a hurry to finish up and get out of here?I do not know why I did it, don’t ask me to explain, but I offered Josh my coat. I would be able to purchase a new one on payday if I avoided gambling. As I helped Josh into the coat I noticed more blood stains on his shirt back.
I also did something else beyond my comprehension. I sought out the young college girl and offered her a couch to sleep on until she graduated in May. She accepted ecstatically.It‘s not like she had never slept with strangers. She wouldn't take up much space since everything she owned fit into a backpack. As it would turn out, she would eventually get a degree in social work and I would work for her with hours tailored around my school schedule!
The newly found lawyer/brother would get pharmaceutical help for his problems and lobby for the hapless friends he left behind.
The man who had lost it all through his own folly got a job with our lawn maintenance crew and went on to own his own business, employing only those down and out but willing to improve. He wouldn't do any landscaping for casinos, (no need to tempt his luck.)
Having learned that bad things do not just happen to bad people, (and that but for the grace of God, there goes me!), a different girl boarded the van than had gotten off it hours earlier. (Had I learned so much in such a short time? What have I been doing with my life?) I found my coat draped over my seat. Looking out the window, I saw Joshua, washed of blood and limpless, with his eleven loyal followers trekking down the highway. I bowed my head and thanked God for allowing me the privilege of meeting the most famous dispossessed man of all.
Eccl. 9:11-12
Mark 4:39-41
Mark 15:17
Luke 9:58
Luke 24:39
John 20:24-28
Rom 12:9-13
Rom 12:20-21
Rom 12:17
Heb 13:1-3
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Lost at Sea
This vacation has been perfect. I haven’t had to do guard duty for days. I’ve just been spending my time sunning on the deck, basking in the warmth while balmy breezes circulated about. No work was required of me on this trip. This is the life. Miles out on the ocean where you can’t see or smell land if you stood on tippy-toe. Not a living soul in sight, that is until one was hauled aboard at the end of a line. I got up and stretched . I could see the others on the lower deck fishing, eating and listening to IPOD’s. Who ever thought of this little cruise was a genius. (By definition that should mean me, but I can’t take credit for this one.)
As I lengthened my body to the full capacity of my muscles, a craft went whizzing by sending large waves in our direction, rocking our smaller vessel. I rose to my feet to greet the passengers of the other ship with exited whooping and waving; this proofed to be a mistake. Loosing my balance I splashed into the deep. Oh, this isn’t good, I thought as I watched both boats put distance between themselves and me, going in opposing directions of north and south, or was it east and west…oh what difference does it make! The point is no one noticed my predicament.
Sure, I yelled and frantically tried to wave my arms to get their attention but who could hear over their IPOD’s the motors, the wind or the waves. The only witness to my quandary was the furry white mass of meowing annoyance the family I was with called a pet. I shrieked at her to go for help. She just looked at me and licked her ….. That is so not right! I had a deep inner feeling she was enjoying this. She curled up in a ball and rested her head on her paws, apparently in no hurry to be involved in my rescue, no hurry at all. I never did like her.
Thank heavens I was forced to wear this disgustingly orange vest. I had tried on several occasions to shed it but was constantly reprimanded every time I had attempted to cast it off. You‘d think these people owned me! Now I was grateful the ridiculous thing was keeping me above water, bouncing me about like a piece of flotsam. I rotated myself in all directions looking for some hint of land. Nothing met my senses of smell, hearing, or sight. Just salt water, dirty, fishy salt water washed across my mouth. Land had to be nearby somewhere, just over the horizon but on horizon?
Suddenly I spotted something. Was it a mountain peak? No it wasn’t that far away, it was something much closer. Was it a buoy? No, it was moving towards me. Fast. Real fast. It was a fin. Two fins. Three fins. I watched in horror. The words had difficulty escaping my throat.
“Sharks!” I yelled, but to who? I sure didn’t want to hear what I was saying.
I started doggy paddling away , as if I could really out swim sharks. Hope springs eternal. A long carcass swam under me then rose to the surface with me on its spine. Two other long figures broke nose first out of the water straight into the air and back down, flapping their hind flippers on the surface, spraying liquid all about. Dolphins! Taxi dolphins at that. They were giving me the ride of my dear life and believe me, I hung on tightly for dear life.
We came upon a boat with sightseers snapping pictures of a bigger school of dolphins who were putting on an act for their audience. Dolphins are such hams! One of the photographers spotted me in the orange vest I had vowed to not be caught dead in ( how often to we have to eat our words?) and started gesticulating to the crowd. Hands went over the side and pulled me up. Someone threw a nice warm towel around me and patted me down. Oh, that felt good. Especially the rub down on my tummy. (No, I’m not a pervert, it really did feel good.) I was offered something to drink. No thanks, I’ve had enough water today, thank you. Lots of faces pressed close to mine to give me an inspection, squinting into my eyes. A few patted my head , shaking theirs in amazement and scanning the vicinity for any signs of a shipwreck.
It wasn’t long before I realized that my rescuers and I didn’t share the same language. They couldn’t understand any of my attempts to explain my situation or my desire to get back home. They just stared at me and smiled. You know, the smile that means, “I know you’re trying to say something, but I honestly don’t know what it is.”
\When we got back to terra firma I didn’t recognize anything. This wasn’t the same area my party had set sail from. I ran around to all the cars, hoping against hope. Lost; four letters put together never sounded so lonely and foreboding.
After some discussion, that I didn’t comprehend mind you, I was put in a car with a couple and their three kids. This I grasped, I was being abducted. I spent days endeavoring to find a way to get back to my own people. I was kept like a prisoner, locked up and under continuous surveillance. But they treated me like an honored guest even if they restricted my movements. They fed me real good and made provisions for exercise and play.
One day, fortuitously, one of the boys noticed my necklace. It was hidden pretty good by my hair. Holding it between his fingers he read the inscription and yelled for his dad, who also read it.
“By golly, why didn’t we notice this before!” He rushed to the phone and started dialing. When I heard a familiar voice answer on the other end , I raced over and started making as much noise as I could muster. I was shaking with anticipation. This was incredible, I was hearing things; I just had to be. I didn’t see anyone identifiable but I knew that voice. Someone was saying,” Hello, whose there?”
The father spoke into the receiver, “ M’am, you’re not going to believe this, but I think we found your dog in the ocean last week!”
Just wait till I see that cat again! I thought, licking my lips.
Psalm 18:16
Psalm 29:3
Psalm 32:6
Psalm 69:1-2,14
Math 10:29
As I lengthened my body to the full capacity of my muscles, a craft went whizzing by sending large waves in our direction, rocking our smaller vessel. I rose to my feet to greet the passengers of the other ship with exited whooping and waving; this proofed to be a mistake. Loosing my balance I splashed into the deep. Oh, this isn’t good, I thought as I watched both boats put distance between themselves and me, going in opposing directions of north and south, or was it east and west…oh what difference does it make! The point is no one noticed my predicament.
Sure, I yelled and frantically tried to wave my arms to get their attention but who could hear over their IPOD’s the motors, the wind or the waves. The only witness to my quandary was the furry white mass of meowing annoyance the family I was with called a pet. I shrieked at her to go for help. She just looked at me and licked her ….. That is so not right! I had a deep inner feeling she was enjoying this. She curled up in a ball and rested her head on her paws, apparently in no hurry to be involved in my rescue, no hurry at all. I never did like her.
Thank heavens I was forced to wear this disgustingly orange vest. I had tried on several occasions to shed it but was constantly reprimanded every time I had attempted to cast it off. You‘d think these people owned me! Now I was grateful the ridiculous thing was keeping me above water, bouncing me about like a piece of flotsam. I rotated myself in all directions looking for some hint of land. Nothing met my senses of smell, hearing, or sight. Just salt water, dirty, fishy salt water washed across my mouth. Land had to be nearby somewhere, just over the horizon but on horizon?
Suddenly I spotted something. Was it a mountain peak? No it wasn’t that far away, it was something much closer. Was it a buoy? No, it was moving towards me. Fast. Real fast. It was a fin. Two fins. Three fins. I watched in horror. The words had difficulty escaping my throat.
“Sharks!” I yelled, but to who? I sure didn’t want to hear what I was saying.
I started doggy paddling away , as if I could really out swim sharks. Hope springs eternal. A long carcass swam under me then rose to the surface with me on its spine. Two other long figures broke nose first out of the water straight into the air and back down, flapping their hind flippers on the surface, spraying liquid all about. Dolphins! Taxi dolphins at that. They were giving me the ride of my dear life and believe me, I hung on tightly for dear life.
We came upon a boat with sightseers snapping pictures of a bigger school of dolphins who were putting on an act for their audience. Dolphins are such hams! One of the photographers spotted me in the orange vest I had vowed to not be caught dead in ( how often to we have to eat our words?) and started gesticulating to the crowd. Hands went over the side and pulled me up. Someone threw a nice warm towel around me and patted me down. Oh, that felt good. Especially the rub down on my tummy. (No, I’m not a pervert, it really did feel good.) I was offered something to drink. No thanks, I’ve had enough water today, thank you. Lots of faces pressed close to mine to give me an inspection, squinting into my eyes. A few patted my head , shaking theirs in amazement and scanning the vicinity for any signs of a shipwreck.
It wasn’t long before I realized that my rescuers and I didn’t share the same language. They couldn’t understand any of my attempts to explain my situation or my desire to get back home. They just stared at me and smiled. You know, the smile that means, “I know you’re trying to say something, but I honestly don’t know what it is.”
\When we got back to terra firma I didn’t recognize anything. This wasn’t the same area my party had set sail from. I ran around to all the cars, hoping against hope. Lost; four letters put together never sounded so lonely and foreboding.
After some discussion, that I didn’t comprehend mind you, I was put in a car with a couple and their three kids. This I grasped, I was being abducted. I spent days endeavoring to find a way to get back to my own people. I was kept like a prisoner, locked up and under continuous surveillance. But they treated me like an honored guest even if they restricted my movements. They fed me real good and made provisions for exercise and play.
One day, fortuitously, one of the boys noticed my necklace. It was hidden pretty good by my hair. Holding it between his fingers he read the inscription and yelled for his dad, who also read it.
“By golly, why didn’t we notice this before!” He rushed to the phone and started dialing. When I heard a familiar voice answer on the other end , I raced over and started making as much noise as I could muster. I was shaking with anticipation. This was incredible, I was hearing things; I just had to be. I didn’t see anyone identifiable but I knew that voice. Someone was saying,” Hello, whose there?”
The father spoke into the receiver, “ M’am, you’re not going to believe this, but I think we found your dog in the ocean last week!”
Just wait till I see that cat again! I thought, licking my lips.
Psalm 18:16
Psalm 29:3
Psalm 32:6
Psalm 69:1-2,14
Math 10:29
Thursday, February 22, 2007
here's my story
To tell my story I have to go back to the beginning. Well at least to my wedding day, which was also my birthday (it helped my spouse to keep tract of anniversaries and birthdays. I however did expect a separate gift for each occasion). The day of our nuptials was the first time I met my spouse. You see, our's was an arranged affair but don't feel sorry for me, as it turns out divine providence had a huge hand in bringing us together. My intended was a little uncertain though; he had to be knocked out before I came.
As the days passed I discovered he was the only man in the world for me, we were practically made for each other. We both went to our wedding bed pure, never having known anyone else. We had the same interests; we loved camping, animals and living simply. He was a game warden so we got to live out in, and with nature, in a home that came with the job.Young and healthy we had the whole world at our disposal. He let me choose anyplace on the globe to set up house, game wardens were in big demand. Where to live when you have the whole earth to choose from?
I learned to cook after we were married. I used all natural ingredients we grew ourselves. We only drank water and wines from grapes we harvested ourselves. We used no preservatives in our food and were complete vegetarians. How could we eat meat that we helped to raise and named?We had a simple budget. We didn't need many clothes, we never got dressed up, who would we impress, the peacocks? The zebras? The giraffes? Speaking of clothes, he didn't wear the pants in our family, neither did I, ours was an equal partnership.
We tried to help each other, not lord it over each other. We had no bills, our water flowed from the land, we grew our own food and recycled our waste. We lived without electricity or phones, who would we call, as newlyweds we wanted to be alone and alone is how we found ourselves, and enjoying every bit of it.Our home was airy, surrounded by tropical plants and cascading waterfalls, colorful flowers and animals that acted like they owned the place because they were there first. It was paradise on earth! My husband, the warden, went to work every morning like clock work, never missed a day except on our appointed day of rest. He worked six days a week and reserved the last day completely for God.He had a great boss that he talked to about everything. He got much of his advice from him as a matter of fact. Being young like we were, his boss seemed ancient and lonely, not having a wife of his own. We were like family to him and he was welcome at our place anytime he wanted to drop in. He certainly always joined us every seventh day for rest and worship.
We were both only children so we planned on a enormous family, we had room to grow. We wanted a dozen boys and a dozen girls. They would be home schooled and learn to be as independent as their parents were, living off the land. It would be hard to find partners for them to marry, as isolated as we were, but that was a problem far down the road.
Now is the hard part. With all this perfection, with everything coming easy for me, I still had time to err. I mean some people make mistakes but I really screwed up. What I did affected the whole world. I know everyone feels like their mistakes are the worst, but my mistake harmed all my unborn kids, can you beat that? No mother wants to be the cause of her kid's pain, do you think I'm any different? I set a serious of events in motion that will ripple down to the end of time. I want to blame my husband, (he did have a part in it) but mostly it was my own doing. I unraveled our lives, caused my husband to loose his job, which in turn got us evicted from the home which came with the job.
To add insult to injury we were even issued a set of clothes similar to criminals when they are released from jail! I should never have been left alone. I was too naive and too young to know about the evil that lurked about. I was too young to know what evil was! I'd never been exposed to wickedness; my life had been sheltered from conception. I hadn't been taught to not talk to strangers; after all, I knew everyone in my life. Maybe if my husband had been by my side nothing would have come of it, but he wasn't there for me or with me. I now know not everyone can be trusted.
I still hate to talk about this but here's what happened--I had to much idle time, so far it was still just me and my husband, no kids yet, so I decided to go for a nature walk. It was a picture perfect afternoon, the temperature was just right, the foliage was green, breezes were blowing my hair, birds were serenading me and animals were foraging for food when I heard a voice hiss at me from up in a tree, "Hey, little girl, do you want something to eat................." The rest, as they say, is history.
signed, Eve.
Genesis Chapter 3
As the days passed I discovered he was the only man in the world for me, we were practically made for each other. We both went to our wedding bed pure, never having known anyone else. We had the same interests; we loved camping, animals and living simply. He was a game warden so we got to live out in, and with nature, in a home that came with the job.Young and healthy we had the whole world at our disposal. He let me choose anyplace on the globe to set up house, game wardens were in big demand. Where to live when you have the whole earth to choose from?
I learned to cook after we were married. I used all natural ingredients we grew ourselves. We only drank water and wines from grapes we harvested ourselves. We used no preservatives in our food and were complete vegetarians. How could we eat meat that we helped to raise and named?We had a simple budget. We didn't need many clothes, we never got dressed up, who would we impress, the peacocks? The zebras? The giraffes? Speaking of clothes, he didn't wear the pants in our family, neither did I, ours was an equal partnership.
We tried to help each other, not lord it over each other. We had no bills, our water flowed from the land, we grew our own food and recycled our waste. We lived without electricity or phones, who would we call, as newlyweds we wanted to be alone and alone is how we found ourselves, and enjoying every bit of it.Our home was airy, surrounded by tropical plants and cascading waterfalls, colorful flowers and animals that acted like they owned the place because they were there first. It was paradise on earth! My husband, the warden, went to work every morning like clock work, never missed a day except on our appointed day of rest. He worked six days a week and reserved the last day completely for God.He had a great boss that he talked to about everything. He got much of his advice from him as a matter of fact. Being young like we were, his boss seemed ancient and lonely, not having a wife of his own. We were like family to him and he was welcome at our place anytime he wanted to drop in. He certainly always joined us every seventh day for rest and worship.
We were both only children so we planned on a enormous family, we had room to grow. We wanted a dozen boys and a dozen girls. They would be home schooled and learn to be as independent as their parents were, living off the land. It would be hard to find partners for them to marry, as isolated as we were, but that was a problem far down the road.
Now is the hard part. With all this perfection, with everything coming easy for me, I still had time to err. I mean some people make mistakes but I really screwed up. What I did affected the whole world. I know everyone feels like their mistakes are the worst, but my mistake harmed all my unborn kids, can you beat that? No mother wants to be the cause of her kid's pain, do you think I'm any different? I set a serious of events in motion that will ripple down to the end of time. I want to blame my husband, (he did have a part in it) but mostly it was my own doing. I unraveled our lives, caused my husband to loose his job, which in turn got us evicted from the home which came with the job.
To add insult to injury we were even issued a set of clothes similar to criminals when they are released from jail! I should never have been left alone. I was too naive and too young to know about the evil that lurked about. I was too young to know what evil was! I'd never been exposed to wickedness; my life had been sheltered from conception. I hadn't been taught to not talk to strangers; after all, I knew everyone in my life. Maybe if my husband had been by my side nothing would have come of it, but he wasn't there for me or with me. I now know not everyone can be trusted.
I still hate to talk about this but here's what happened--I had to much idle time, so far it was still just me and my husband, no kids yet, so I decided to go for a nature walk. It was a picture perfect afternoon, the temperature was just right, the foliage was green, breezes were blowing my hair, birds were serenading me and animals were foraging for food when I heard a voice hiss at me from up in a tree, "Hey, little girl, do you want something to eat................." The rest, as they say, is history.
signed, Eve.
Genesis Chapter 3
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Bonvoyage
I'm jealous. I'm 50 years old and have not been able to make the trip yet, but this 15-year-old won a lottery ticket to go when he was at school, all expense paid. He invited his friends to sign up for the drawing but they are still waiting to be called. Maybe they will meet him there someday at the next drawing since they were smart enough to follow his advice and register. He'll be traveling by air. Someone will be assigned to keep him company on the trip, his parents and siblings will meet him there in a short time, but some of his family have already gone there and will greet him at the gate.He will have to pass inspection before he enters, there is a registry at the front door, if his name is not on the list he'll be assigned a room on the lower level but he made certain he was pre-registered so his room will be on the upper level. This is top rate place. No one wants to go to the lower levels because they aren't as air-conditioned. The upper levels are breezy and cool. At his going away party he is dressed leisurely, in a t-shirt that says, "love is everything.” Tons of friends are here to wish him bon voyage. Mixed feelings abound, some wish he was not going so soon and others want to go with him but have to wait. Waiting is always the hardest.He'll get a new wardrobe on vacation. The rooms have comfortable gowns designed for comfort hanging by the doors. This is no cheap motel. The flight will be smooth with gorgeous airline attendants. He'll be soaring over the clouds. I’ve been over the clouds before. The view that high up is so breathtaking. It will astound him also. I've seen brochures of the place. People I've heard of that have been there for a short time can't wait to go back for a longer visit. There are pamphlets all over describing the beauty of this resort. It surpasses imagination. The streets are clean and spacious. Many people stroll down the lanes greeting each other like old friends. Different nationalities are there and they forget about their previous differences and enjoy each other's company. The proprietor will not allow any one to enter his establishment that will disrupt the serenity. He has complete control and attendance is by invitation only. The owner spent many years getting this place ready for business. It cost him everything to get it set up. His life's blood went into preparing the huge buildings and never ending buffet.The food is specially prepared and in abundance. The wine is to die for. I'm not much of a wine drinker and he's too young to partake of it here but this location is out of our jurisdiction and minimal alcohol consumption is allowed by all ages. At every meal, the guests all stand up causing their chairs to fall while they raise their cups to the host at the end of the table. He sits in a grand chair surrounded by servants and drinks his beverage as they shout, "Hail to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!"
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Thanksgiving
Waking up was hard. I could tell it was practically noon without looking at a clock. I rolled over and stretched. My bed was hard and cold affecting every joint I owned. My head was cracking in two. Sunlight blurred my vision. I reached for my sunglasses.Today would be like all the other days of my recent life, boring and depressing so there was no reason to jump up and race anywhere. The traffic on the streets was light today. I wonder why? Oh yeah, I know why!. I did have something to do today: eat and eat till my stomach hurt. Some church down town was fixing dinner for the neighborhood. I didn't have to scrounge for something to cook today! I just had to be leery of goodie two shoes. There is always a gimmick when things are offered free.
I got up, made my bed, knocking over five beer cans laying where my head was moments ago. Open bean and wiener cans lay scattered about. My dog slowly unrolled her body and waited for my next move, her tail wagging. "Sorry old girl, I will have to bring you something back." I secured her to something solid. I would die if I lost my only companion of the last few months.I didn't have to get dressed. My pajamas and day wear were one and the same. The benefits of not having someone dictate to you daily how to live your life. I ran my hands over wrinkles, in my clothes and hair, attempting to smooth them out and aimed my self in the direction of sustenance.
It was a blustery November day, the fourth Thursday in the month, and I was walking towards a fantastic dinner. I could hardly wait. Turkey, stuffing, apple, blueberry, and pecan pies, yams, cranberry relish, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, salads galore, vegetables that I would probably pass on. (It's not that I hate vegetables, I love them, that's why I'm against the whole sale slaughtering of them.)All around me the wind whipped the trees and bushes. Leaves fluttered by my head along with papers and other litter. I snugged up my jacket collar and shoved my hands deeper into my pockets, one hand exited the opposite end. There's something else to do today, mend some clothes. My feet were blistering where my socks were torn, and rubbing against the leather shoes. Parts of my feet were scrapping concrete where the soles had worn through. I walked past a man hunkered up against a building, knees drawn up to his chest, head slightly tilted to the far left. His right hand had a tight hold on a brown bag with a bottle neck sticking out. If he were conscience I'd probably have invited him to join me for a meal. I wasn't about to disturb his sleep,(or death?)
The closer I got to the finish line I was joined by more dinner go-ers. We tried to out saunter each other, not wanting to be last in line. Men with torn service clothes on, women carrying half naked youngsters with slightly blue lips, toddlers without shoes stumble-running at their heels, couples that looked like they knew each other to well by the looks of the bruises in various stages of healing, teenagers keeping a hold on their pants to avoid tripping on their own clothing. A good belt would help with those pants,kids. It's not a new invention. I never cared for the baggy pants look. Now flannel and fleece pajama bottoms were something else. They looked so cool. I used them for everything, mixing them up with colorful t-shirts when I lived at home.
There it was at last. The walk really impacted my appetite not that it needed much of a shove. The aromas from the kitchen formed invisible fingers pulling me forward. I didn't need any encouragement. My mouth was salivating in preparation for the first best dinner of the year; next month's of course being the grand finale.Where did all these people come from? Where did they stay at night and during the day? I prayed there would be enough for seconds, even thirds.
Man, the tables were loaded down. A lady at the door greeted me, handed me a plate and pointed to a line. Was her warmth genuine? Who cared, I was going to feast. Things were moving without a hitch and before long I was seated and someone planted a tea glass in front of me. Wow, a table, table cloth, plate, fork,spoon, knife, napkin and drinking glass. There were hand sanitizers stacked by the salt and pepper shakers. Just like the meals at mom's house, only she made us wash before coming to the table!
I chowed down and chowed down some more. I was afraid to talk fearing I'd oink instead. There were cards in the pumpkin centerpieces that gave directions to needed community services. Food lines, homeless shelters, women's havens, Medical clinics, AA, NA, etc. Every need was attempting to be met without getting in our faces. Checking to be sure I wasn't been watched, I pocketed an AA card, just in case.
The atmosphere was between subdued and exuberant. Some attendees kept to themselves, while some were gently coaxed into conversations by strategically placed church members. Some of the hard core visitants mumbled to themselves making it clear they wanted no interaction. Some threw furtive glances around waiting to be evicted, not believing their luck, having victuals in front of them was all they wanted. The kids were uninhibited however, running, jumping and crawling under tables. There were corners set up for story telling and games to divert the rowdy ones and entertain the calm ones. They were setting up to play movies in the auditorium, laying blankets and pillows about for the younsters that wouldn't be able to stay awake.
The minister was mingling,going from table to table introducing himself and shaking hands, well able to fit into any conversational topic. He was dressed in (gasp) blue jeans and a t-shirt. A suit and tie would make him look haughty. Smart dude.
As people left the tables, replacements were instantly seated. No one had to wait or eat standing up, unless that was their wish. Casting a few side looks I stashed some rolls and meat into my pocket, the one without the hole, for Scruffy.
A lady walked up with deserts on a tray an proffered some to me. I grabbed two pie wedges and started shoveling them into a ready receptacle, my mouth. Sitting down, dessert lady, leaned over and whispered. "It's alright to take some food home for a friend." She nodded at my swelling pocket. Zinged.
"It's for my dog." I explained, turning red. She was going to make a spectacle of me and confiscate my hidden treasures.
"Well for heaven's sake, let me get the poor thing a doggy bag."
She hurried away and returned with a plastic bag loaded with turkey skin, meat, rolls,fat and other unidentifiable edibles that were high on doggy heaven lists. "I just love animals so we have a bin in back we're stashing the left overs in for anyone's pets."
Wow, these people are clever."Gee, thanks." Scruffy's stomach was going to be ecstatic. I was so relieved. I felt selfish having a full tummy while she was starving. I was beginning to see her ribs. I was wrong when I announced to my parents I could take care of her.
I finally finished gorging myself and investigated the other rooms. They had a country store set up with clothes and necessities. While you shopped they played a film about the life of Jesus, tricky people, these Christians. Everything had the same price tag. "Donated in the name of Jesus". I selected some clean socks, a box of cereal, some canned goods, a sewing kit, a shirt, toothpaste and other little conveniences I'd been without for sometime. Mothers helped themselves to diapers, baby formulas, baby shoes and outfits. They pocketed very little for themselves since they could only tote so much. Sorry, no cigarettes or liqueur were on display anywhere. It's amazing how none of the "customers" took advantage of the free stuff. I guess carrying and storing was a problem for most of us.As I went from room to room I would catch a phrase here and there. "...loves you..." "...nothing to great to forgive..." "...waiting for us...." "...carries our burdens..." "...all sinners have a future..." Church people were using their wiles on the guests. I'd heard it all before at home, didn't want to listen then, don't want to listen now. It is amazing, though, how the seed takes root once it's distributed.
There was an office with several phones that people were standing in line for. The church was picking up the tab for family calls for those who so desired. Oh, what the hell. It would be nice to hear mom's voice. Let her know I was still alive and making it on my own. A voice whispered in my ear. "Don't be crazy, you had good reasons for leaving." I managed to ignore it. I'll call and hang up after she answers."Hello."
Mom answered on the second ring.With out warning my mouth started to betray me. "Mom, can I come home. I'm sorry I took your money, I'll go to school and everything, I promise. I'll give up beer, I'll do anything you want!" I began to cry like a baby. Damn, I'm too old for this.
"Dan, come quick!" Mom began yelling for dad. The yelling I used to hate now resonated as music to my ears! Never would I have thought mom's yelling could sound so welcome. She was yelling and crying when dad croaked into the phone.
"Where are you son?" I've never heard dad's voice crack with emotion before. It made me wail louder. I told them where to find me. I was twenty minutes away. My spoiled younger brother was in the background asking,"What's the big deal? The looser needs more money? He's probably drunk right now."
I hung up and ran "home" to pack the only thing that mattered. Scruffy. I would be bathed and sleeping in my bed soon. I rolled up my sleeping bag as cars whizzed by on the bridge above me. I've been living under this bridge for five months. It was a choice location, protecting me somewhat from the extreme heat and cold. Any moment a car will stop, honk, and Scruffy and I will be gone, vacating this dream spot for someone else. I just hoped mom wouldn't fix my favorite meals all at once. For some reason I'm not hungry right now for anything but love! I'm even eager to see my brat brother, despite our differences!
Psalm 146:7
Luke 15:11-31
John 21:17
James 2:15-17
I got up, made my bed, knocking over five beer cans laying where my head was moments ago. Open bean and wiener cans lay scattered about. My dog slowly unrolled her body and waited for my next move, her tail wagging. "Sorry old girl, I will have to bring you something back." I secured her to something solid. I would die if I lost my only companion of the last few months.I didn't have to get dressed. My pajamas and day wear were one and the same. The benefits of not having someone dictate to you daily how to live your life. I ran my hands over wrinkles, in my clothes and hair, attempting to smooth them out and aimed my self in the direction of sustenance.
It was a blustery November day, the fourth Thursday in the month, and I was walking towards a fantastic dinner. I could hardly wait. Turkey, stuffing, apple, blueberry, and pecan pies, yams, cranberry relish, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, salads galore, vegetables that I would probably pass on. (It's not that I hate vegetables, I love them, that's why I'm against the whole sale slaughtering of them.)All around me the wind whipped the trees and bushes. Leaves fluttered by my head along with papers and other litter. I snugged up my jacket collar and shoved my hands deeper into my pockets, one hand exited the opposite end. There's something else to do today, mend some clothes. My feet were blistering where my socks were torn, and rubbing against the leather shoes. Parts of my feet were scrapping concrete where the soles had worn through. I walked past a man hunkered up against a building, knees drawn up to his chest, head slightly tilted to the far left. His right hand had a tight hold on a brown bag with a bottle neck sticking out. If he were conscience I'd probably have invited him to join me for a meal. I wasn't about to disturb his sleep,(or death?)
The closer I got to the finish line I was joined by more dinner go-ers. We tried to out saunter each other, not wanting to be last in line. Men with torn service clothes on, women carrying half naked youngsters with slightly blue lips, toddlers without shoes stumble-running at their heels, couples that looked like they knew each other to well by the looks of the bruises in various stages of healing, teenagers keeping a hold on their pants to avoid tripping on their own clothing. A good belt would help with those pants,kids. It's not a new invention. I never cared for the baggy pants look. Now flannel and fleece pajama bottoms were something else. They looked so cool. I used them for everything, mixing them up with colorful t-shirts when I lived at home.
There it was at last. The walk really impacted my appetite not that it needed much of a shove. The aromas from the kitchen formed invisible fingers pulling me forward. I didn't need any encouragement. My mouth was salivating in preparation for the first best dinner of the year; next month's of course being the grand finale.Where did all these people come from? Where did they stay at night and during the day? I prayed there would be enough for seconds, even thirds.
Man, the tables were loaded down. A lady at the door greeted me, handed me a plate and pointed to a line. Was her warmth genuine? Who cared, I was going to feast. Things were moving without a hitch and before long I was seated and someone planted a tea glass in front of me. Wow, a table, table cloth, plate, fork,spoon, knife, napkin and drinking glass. There were hand sanitizers stacked by the salt and pepper shakers. Just like the meals at mom's house, only she made us wash before coming to the table!
I chowed down and chowed down some more. I was afraid to talk fearing I'd oink instead. There were cards in the pumpkin centerpieces that gave directions to needed community services. Food lines, homeless shelters, women's havens, Medical clinics, AA, NA, etc. Every need was attempting to be met without getting in our faces. Checking to be sure I wasn't been watched, I pocketed an AA card, just in case.
The atmosphere was between subdued and exuberant. Some attendees kept to themselves, while some were gently coaxed into conversations by strategically placed church members. Some of the hard core visitants mumbled to themselves making it clear they wanted no interaction. Some threw furtive glances around waiting to be evicted, not believing their luck, having victuals in front of them was all they wanted. The kids were uninhibited however, running, jumping and crawling under tables. There were corners set up for story telling and games to divert the rowdy ones and entertain the calm ones. They were setting up to play movies in the auditorium, laying blankets and pillows about for the younsters that wouldn't be able to stay awake.
The minister was mingling,going from table to table introducing himself and shaking hands, well able to fit into any conversational topic. He was dressed in (gasp) blue jeans and a t-shirt. A suit and tie would make him look haughty. Smart dude.
As people left the tables, replacements were instantly seated. No one had to wait or eat standing up, unless that was their wish. Casting a few side looks I stashed some rolls and meat into my pocket, the one without the hole, for Scruffy.
A lady walked up with deserts on a tray an proffered some to me. I grabbed two pie wedges and started shoveling them into a ready receptacle, my mouth. Sitting down, dessert lady, leaned over and whispered. "It's alright to take some food home for a friend." She nodded at my swelling pocket. Zinged.
"It's for my dog." I explained, turning red. She was going to make a spectacle of me and confiscate my hidden treasures.
"Well for heaven's sake, let me get the poor thing a doggy bag."
She hurried away and returned with a plastic bag loaded with turkey skin, meat, rolls,fat and other unidentifiable edibles that were high on doggy heaven lists. "I just love animals so we have a bin in back we're stashing the left overs in for anyone's pets."
Wow, these people are clever."Gee, thanks." Scruffy's stomach was going to be ecstatic. I was so relieved. I felt selfish having a full tummy while she was starving. I was beginning to see her ribs. I was wrong when I announced to my parents I could take care of her.
I finally finished gorging myself and investigated the other rooms. They had a country store set up with clothes and necessities. While you shopped they played a film about the life of Jesus, tricky people, these Christians. Everything had the same price tag. "Donated in the name of Jesus". I selected some clean socks, a box of cereal, some canned goods, a sewing kit, a shirt, toothpaste and other little conveniences I'd been without for sometime. Mothers helped themselves to diapers, baby formulas, baby shoes and outfits. They pocketed very little for themselves since they could only tote so much. Sorry, no cigarettes or liqueur were on display anywhere. It's amazing how none of the "customers" took advantage of the free stuff. I guess carrying and storing was a problem for most of us.As I went from room to room I would catch a phrase here and there. "...loves you..." "...nothing to great to forgive..." "...waiting for us...." "...carries our burdens..." "...all sinners have a future..." Church people were using their wiles on the guests. I'd heard it all before at home, didn't want to listen then, don't want to listen now. It is amazing, though, how the seed takes root once it's distributed.
There was an office with several phones that people were standing in line for. The church was picking up the tab for family calls for those who so desired. Oh, what the hell. It would be nice to hear mom's voice. Let her know I was still alive and making it on my own. A voice whispered in my ear. "Don't be crazy, you had good reasons for leaving." I managed to ignore it. I'll call and hang up after she answers."Hello."
Mom answered on the second ring.With out warning my mouth started to betray me. "Mom, can I come home. I'm sorry I took your money, I'll go to school and everything, I promise. I'll give up beer, I'll do anything you want!" I began to cry like a baby. Damn, I'm too old for this.
"Dan, come quick!" Mom began yelling for dad. The yelling I used to hate now resonated as music to my ears! Never would I have thought mom's yelling could sound so welcome. She was yelling and crying when dad croaked into the phone.
"Where are you son?" I've never heard dad's voice crack with emotion before. It made me wail louder. I told them where to find me. I was twenty minutes away. My spoiled younger brother was in the background asking,"What's the big deal? The looser needs more money? He's probably drunk right now."
I hung up and ran "home" to pack the only thing that mattered. Scruffy. I would be bathed and sleeping in my bed soon. I rolled up my sleeping bag as cars whizzed by on the bridge above me. I've been living under this bridge for five months. It was a choice location, protecting me somewhat from the extreme heat and cold. Any moment a car will stop, honk, and Scruffy and I will be gone, vacating this dream spot for someone else. I just hoped mom wouldn't fix my favorite meals all at once. For some reason I'm not hungry right now for anything but love! I'm even eager to see my brat brother, despite our differences!
Psalm 146:7
Luke 15:11-31
John 21:17
James 2:15-17
Act of God
Slumlord? What's their problem? It's not my fault they can't afford better housing. They're darn lucky I provide them with a roof and four walls. If they want repairs they need to expect a rent increase or do their own maintenance. It was time to leave, no way I'm going to listen to any more complaints at the tenants association meeting. They keep bringing up the poor soul who died of a heat stroke in his apartment because I wouldn't install air conditioning. This was Texas after all. Summer was literally a killer; I wasn't responsible for acts of God.
I steered my car towards the freeway. The last thing I remembered was the car pulling out in front of me. I had a green light, they ran a red light. No, that's not true, I also remembered scenes from my life passing in front of me. The days I stole, lied, cheated, committed adultery, schemed to murder,(never actually pulled it off but plotting it was cathartic), partied, and climbed up the latter of success, buying multiple apartment complexes. Then I felt searing pain, but just for a second before I entered total blackness.
I eventually came to, but didn't have a concept of time. I had been thrown from my car and was lying on the roadside.I slowly sat up and looked around. There were two cars meshed together, smoldering, with police and emergency techs milling around them. Two bodies were on stretchers nearby with paramedics working furiously to stabilize them. A man was standing by one stretcher holding a ladies hand and crying. The lady was smiling wanely at him. The paramedic assured the man that it wasn't as bad as it looked.
I must not be bad off. No one was working on me. I needed to get back to the office, time was money. I called over to one of the EMT's to ask if I could use his cell phone, since mine was missing from my pocket. I didn't have time to go to the emergency room. It was amazing how good I felt looking at the condition of what appeared to once be my Jaquar.The guy nearest me was so busy with his work he didn't even look up at me. I experienced a sensation of tugging on my legs. Turning to see who had a hold of me I only saw a blanket covered mass. Oh, no, someone didn't survive. They should have been more careful at the intersection, running red lights is fatal. Thank heavens I had the right of way. The driver of the other vehicle was guilty of manslaughter. Serves him right, inconveniencing me like this.
The tugging continued to get stronger but no one was there. I began to feel apprehensive, something close to an anxiety attack was affecting me. I jumped to my feet to run away. The tugging increased and increased, pulling me to my knees. Looking down I realized I wasn't on my knees but that my legs had sunk below the ground and my waist was vanishing below the surface. I was sinking into the earth. Two horrible thoughts occured to me. I stretched hard to reach the sheet over the still body and yanked it off just as I sunk down to my chest. The body on the ground, the one that didn't make it, was mangled and bloody but I knew it well. It was me! The teachings of my sainted mother returned to me with fervor,stories of heaven and hell. Fear gripped me. I thought they had just been stories to make me behave!I yelled to the sky above me, "Don't do this, I was going to make a decision when I retired! Give me a break. Show me your famous grace!""Sorry, no second chances after death." was the reply. It was an act of God.
My head disappeared below ground. I made out different layers of dirt, worms, rocks, roots, insects, maggots and started screaming and lashing out. Further and further I went. Hotter and hotter it got,with temperatures soaring higher than any summer day in Texas. I found myself in a muddy tunnel with others and soon I was dumped in a dark cave with more bodies. All my senses were assaulted. My skin sizzled, my blood boiled and evaporated. My lips and tongue felt like sandpaper. I experienced incredible thirst and longed for my liquor bar at home. My ears were subjected to wicked screaming and wailing from deeper down. Acrid smoke filled my nasal passages with burning flesh. My eyes were fighting the darkness. Dirt and grit scratched my corneas. I know they were open but I saw nothing but absolute darkness. The brief moment I had entered darkness after the accident was the only relief from pain I'd ever know again.
I slid down a steep incline at the back of the cave with other carcasses, all howling and shouting, begging and praying. And bargaining. "Let's work something out", most of us pleaded with our Judge and Jury."Give us a chance to warn our families about this place!" The answer came back, "If your families didn't listen to my ministers, they won't listen to the dead!"
We rolled towards a huge furnace fueled by screeching bodies. Monstrous beasts were pushing us in. People were striking each other, crawling over each other trying to put distance between them and the blaze. There was no escape. The heat was past suffocating. I tried to climb back up the way I came. There were no hand or footholds. More bodies falling down blocked the exit. Hysterically I formed a plan. If all of us worked together we could climb up, we could get out of here. No one was listening to my shouts. No one could hear me over their own wailing. No one was going to cooperate.
Inside the furnace faces looked out, melting and reforming, old faces, old bodies. They were scorched and still aware of their circumstances. No morphine or pain drugs here. People from history books were present. Infamous people dead for centuries, still suffering. People who had plotted violent crimes together were treating each other with the code of violence they had committed. All friendships, alliances or connections were meaningless now. No one could offer anyone an alternative. Everyone here had been villains or gang members on earth, here in the bowels of hot lava no partnerships existed.
Searching above me for some exit, some sign of hope in a hopeless situation, I caught a glimpse of the tenant who had died of heat exhaustion in my apartments. He was on a soft cloud by a swiftly flowing river lined with all types of fruit bearing trees, being offered cool beverages by a beautiful winged creature. Seconds latter I was shoveled into the incinerator with the rest of humanity's trash. Weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth for eternity. I will find no friends or relieve in hell. This was the last act of God for me.
Luke 16:19-31
I steered my car towards the freeway. The last thing I remembered was the car pulling out in front of me. I had a green light, they ran a red light. No, that's not true, I also remembered scenes from my life passing in front of me. The days I stole, lied, cheated, committed adultery, schemed to murder,(never actually pulled it off but plotting it was cathartic), partied, and climbed up the latter of success, buying multiple apartment complexes. Then I felt searing pain, but just for a second before I entered total blackness.
I eventually came to, but didn't have a concept of time. I had been thrown from my car and was lying on the roadside.I slowly sat up and looked around. There were two cars meshed together, smoldering, with police and emergency techs milling around them. Two bodies were on stretchers nearby with paramedics working furiously to stabilize them. A man was standing by one stretcher holding a ladies hand and crying. The lady was smiling wanely at him. The paramedic assured the man that it wasn't as bad as it looked.
I must not be bad off. No one was working on me. I needed to get back to the office, time was money. I called over to one of the EMT's to ask if I could use his cell phone, since mine was missing from my pocket. I didn't have time to go to the emergency room. It was amazing how good I felt looking at the condition of what appeared to once be my Jaquar.The guy nearest me was so busy with his work he didn't even look up at me. I experienced a sensation of tugging on my legs. Turning to see who had a hold of me I only saw a blanket covered mass. Oh, no, someone didn't survive. They should have been more careful at the intersection, running red lights is fatal. Thank heavens I had the right of way. The driver of the other vehicle was guilty of manslaughter. Serves him right, inconveniencing me like this.
The tugging continued to get stronger but no one was there. I began to feel apprehensive, something close to an anxiety attack was affecting me. I jumped to my feet to run away. The tugging increased and increased, pulling me to my knees. Looking down I realized I wasn't on my knees but that my legs had sunk below the ground and my waist was vanishing below the surface. I was sinking into the earth. Two horrible thoughts occured to me. I stretched hard to reach the sheet over the still body and yanked it off just as I sunk down to my chest. The body on the ground, the one that didn't make it, was mangled and bloody but I knew it well. It was me! The teachings of my sainted mother returned to me with fervor,stories of heaven and hell. Fear gripped me. I thought they had just been stories to make me behave!I yelled to the sky above me, "Don't do this, I was going to make a decision when I retired! Give me a break. Show me your famous grace!""Sorry, no second chances after death." was the reply. It was an act of God.
My head disappeared below ground. I made out different layers of dirt, worms, rocks, roots, insects, maggots and started screaming and lashing out. Further and further I went. Hotter and hotter it got,with temperatures soaring higher than any summer day in Texas. I found myself in a muddy tunnel with others and soon I was dumped in a dark cave with more bodies. All my senses were assaulted. My skin sizzled, my blood boiled and evaporated. My lips and tongue felt like sandpaper. I experienced incredible thirst and longed for my liquor bar at home. My ears were subjected to wicked screaming and wailing from deeper down. Acrid smoke filled my nasal passages with burning flesh. My eyes were fighting the darkness. Dirt and grit scratched my corneas. I know they were open but I saw nothing but absolute darkness. The brief moment I had entered darkness after the accident was the only relief from pain I'd ever know again.
I slid down a steep incline at the back of the cave with other carcasses, all howling and shouting, begging and praying. And bargaining. "Let's work something out", most of us pleaded with our Judge and Jury."Give us a chance to warn our families about this place!" The answer came back, "If your families didn't listen to my ministers, they won't listen to the dead!"
We rolled towards a huge furnace fueled by screeching bodies. Monstrous beasts were pushing us in. People were striking each other, crawling over each other trying to put distance between them and the blaze. There was no escape. The heat was past suffocating. I tried to climb back up the way I came. There were no hand or footholds. More bodies falling down blocked the exit. Hysterically I formed a plan. If all of us worked together we could climb up, we could get out of here. No one was listening to my shouts. No one could hear me over their own wailing. No one was going to cooperate.
Inside the furnace faces looked out, melting and reforming, old faces, old bodies. They were scorched and still aware of their circumstances. No morphine or pain drugs here. People from history books were present. Infamous people dead for centuries, still suffering. People who had plotted violent crimes together were treating each other with the code of violence they had committed. All friendships, alliances or connections were meaningless now. No one could offer anyone an alternative. Everyone here had been villains or gang members on earth, here in the bowels of hot lava no partnerships existed.
Searching above me for some exit, some sign of hope in a hopeless situation, I caught a glimpse of the tenant who had died of heat exhaustion in my apartments. He was on a soft cloud by a swiftly flowing river lined with all types of fruit bearing trees, being offered cool beverages by a beautiful winged creature. Seconds latter I was shoveled into the incinerator with the rest of humanity's trash. Weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth for eternity. I will find no friends or relieve in hell. This was the last act of God for me.
Luke 16:19-31
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Hand Outs
It was a blistering hot Texan day. I was sitting outside a gas station with my dog, working. I looked enviously across the lot at the air conditioned convenience store. Perspiring heavily, I wished I could work inside. Occasionally I would moisten my face with a wet rag from my duffel bag and sneak a drink from the paper sack. It was only a coke, alcohol in this heat would kill me. Plus booze was detected on my breath it would affect my job.
Some cars were pulling up beside the tanks. As the owners disembarked and started refueling I would cautiously approach them and ask,"Excuse me, can you spare some change for me and my dog to get something to eat and drink?"The first lady I approached replied with a curt, "No."I recited a few indian curses under my breath and went down the line of cars. One lady emptied the console between the bucket seats of her car and handed all her change over to me. One gentleman, getting ready to pullout, opened his wallet and pulled out a few bills. Another couple gave my dog some water they poured in their hands and followed that up with some tasty doggy treat. He licked their hands dry and gobbled up the feast with gusto. A few people suggested I get a job.(excuse me, this is a job!) One young couple offered to take me to their church so I could apply for assistance from their food pantry. I would get a substantial helping of groceries delivered to my home after my application was reviewed. I informed them I had no home. Oh, we can help with that also. I pocketed their church card, promised to read it (thinking to myself,LIAR) and proceeded on down the line of cars, my hand held out and my dog in tow.
I got told a time or two, "If you can't take care of yourself, you don't need a dog!"
I informed these people,"Living on the streets it's important to have protection. I can't afford a security system."
It was getting late and hotter as the sun rose into the afternoon sky. I finally entered the air conditioned convenience store and purchased a gatorade and health food bar. The people in line eyed me suspiciously. They inched back as if poverty was a contagious disease, (I felt tempted to cough violenty and not cover my mouth.) Or maybe they thought I would jump all of them and take their precious hard earned money. Well, I worked hard for mine also. It's not easy sitting outside all day pleading for handouts.
Deciding it was time to move on I tugged on Faithful's leash and guided him up the street rounding several blocks, stopping now and then at street corners with heavy traffic to hold up my,"Need food for me and dog, God Bless" sign. Most people don't carry food with them so they flung money at me hurriedly before the lights changed from red to green. I didn't mind gathering coins from the curbside where they rolled. I've got no pride, but I'm loaded with greed.
I entered a different gas station bathroom ,washed up at the sink, then changed into some clean clothes I carried in my duffel bag. I applied some make-up, then preened in front of the mirrow. Next I dumped the contents of a medium sized pouch out on the counter and counted my blessings. Two hundred and fifty dollars. (plus some candy,sandwiches, and religious brochures which made it to the trash bin) Not bad for a days work of 6 hours. That's about forty two bucks and hour, without a high school education.
I then crossed a parking lot where two cars were parked under a tree. I walked up to the shiny silver Lexus and admired it. Pressing my face to the windows I drooled over the leather upholstery, the console, the radio, the spacious back seating. Boy. I'd love to have a car like this someday. I'll have to work harder to achieve something this nice. The other car was a fairly new Pt. Cruiser. It was kept in excellent condition. Nice bright red color, nice interior, good mileage. It will do. I looked about me, carefully. I jammed my hands deeper into my pockets and pulled out a set of keys. Glancing up and down the street, hoping to not get caught, I pushed the remote button, unlocked the back door and let Faithful onto the seats covered with a nice flannel throw. Then, swinging my knapsack in, I got behind the wheel and started the engine and cooling system.
It sure will be nice to get home and take a nice cool swim in the backyard pool while sipping a wine cooler, but first, a trip to my bank to get all this darn change deposited so I can pay this month's bills. See ya'll suckers again tomorrow!
Some cars were pulling up beside the tanks. As the owners disembarked and started refueling I would cautiously approach them and ask,"Excuse me, can you spare some change for me and my dog to get something to eat and drink?"The first lady I approached replied with a curt, "No."I recited a few indian curses under my breath and went down the line of cars. One lady emptied the console between the bucket seats of her car and handed all her change over to me. One gentleman, getting ready to pullout, opened his wallet and pulled out a few bills. Another couple gave my dog some water they poured in their hands and followed that up with some tasty doggy treat. He licked their hands dry and gobbled up the feast with gusto. A few people suggested I get a job.(excuse me, this is a job!) One young couple offered to take me to their church so I could apply for assistance from their food pantry. I would get a substantial helping of groceries delivered to my home after my application was reviewed. I informed them I had no home. Oh, we can help with that also. I pocketed their church card, promised to read it (thinking to myself,LIAR) and proceeded on down the line of cars, my hand held out and my dog in tow.
I got told a time or two, "If you can't take care of yourself, you don't need a dog!"
I informed these people,"Living on the streets it's important to have protection. I can't afford a security system."
It was getting late and hotter as the sun rose into the afternoon sky. I finally entered the air conditioned convenience store and purchased a gatorade and health food bar. The people in line eyed me suspiciously. They inched back as if poverty was a contagious disease, (I felt tempted to cough violenty and not cover my mouth.) Or maybe they thought I would jump all of them and take their precious hard earned money. Well, I worked hard for mine also. It's not easy sitting outside all day pleading for handouts.
Deciding it was time to move on I tugged on Faithful's leash and guided him up the street rounding several blocks, stopping now and then at street corners with heavy traffic to hold up my,"Need food for me and dog, God Bless" sign. Most people don't carry food with them so they flung money at me hurriedly before the lights changed from red to green. I didn't mind gathering coins from the curbside where they rolled. I've got no pride, but I'm loaded with greed.
I entered a different gas station bathroom ,washed up at the sink, then changed into some clean clothes I carried in my duffel bag. I applied some make-up, then preened in front of the mirrow. Next I dumped the contents of a medium sized pouch out on the counter and counted my blessings. Two hundred and fifty dollars. (plus some candy,sandwiches, and religious brochures which made it to the trash bin) Not bad for a days work of 6 hours. That's about forty two bucks and hour, without a high school education.
I then crossed a parking lot where two cars were parked under a tree. I walked up to the shiny silver Lexus and admired it. Pressing my face to the windows I drooled over the leather upholstery, the console, the radio, the spacious back seating. Boy. I'd love to have a car like this someday. I'll have to work harder to achieve something this nice. The other car was a fairly new Pt. Cruiser. It was kept in excellent condition. Nice bright red color, nice interior, good mileage. It will do. I looked about me, carefully. I jammed my hands deeper into my pockets and pulled out a set of keys. Glancing up and down the street, hoping to not get caught, I pushed the remote button, unlocked the back door and let Faithful onto the seats covered with a nice flannel throw. Then, swinging my knapsack in, I got behind the wheel and started the engine and cooling system.
It sure will be nice to get home and take a nice cool swim in the backyard pool while sipping a wine cooler, but first, a trip to my bank to get all this darn change deposited so I can pay this month's bills. See ya'll suckers again tomorrow!
Tough Love
I looked over my shoulder. My husband's dad was watching us leave. He stood in the middle of the yard, tears forming in his eyes. My husband wouldn't look back. He was too ashamed. We had been asked to leave because of a silly misunderstanding. Basically it was a "you're under my roof so you follow my rules," disagreement. Well, we slipped up, now we're shipping out. It was obviously hurting dad more than he'd admit. This had been my only home since I got married and I would miss it.
We marched on through the gate and into the jungle carrying what little luggage we owned, forming a path as we went, cutting down vines and crawling over logs, or pushing them aside. It was a path we'd never find again. It would grow wild and overgrown with more bushes in time. We'd never find our way back. Dad was placing sentries around the parameters to keep us out. How cold hearted.
We kept on going and going. Looking for the perfect place to restart our lives. I doubt we would find it. Home had been picture perfect, Husband's dad had spent years cultivating and landscaping it before Hubby was even born. All we had to do was the upkeep, which was easy. Sometimes living easy, living off your parents prevents you from growing up.
Something hit me on the back. Glancing up into the trees I saw a monkey hanging from a branch with one hand. The other hand was holding an apple."Look, it's Mixy". I announced.
Hubby looked to where I was pointing and tried to coax Mixy down. "She must have followed us all this way. Come here girl." Another apple came flying down and pummelled off Hubby's chest,forming a bruise next to a scar he'd had for as long as I could remember. "Hey, what are you doing!" he yelled. Then the strangest thing happened. Mixy narrowed her eyes and curled the right side of her lip up and showed us her teeth. She was snarling. I've never seen a snarl before. It was ugly. She vanished back into the trees. Hubby had raised Mixy. How odd she turned on him like that. What did she have to be angry about?
We trudged on and stopped midday to rest and eat some berries. There was a river nearby I went to get a drink from. Cupping my hands to hold water I scooped some up. It looked horrible. Dirt and sediment and little wiggly things. What happened to the clear fresh water from home. Wasn't this the same river? Up stream we came upon a bear lying strangely still. Curious. It didn't seem to be breathing. We pushed on it's body hoping to awaken it. Hubby leaned down and breathed into it's mouth. He first memory of his dad was of him breathing air into his lungs. Nothing. We've never seen a animal so listless. Looking around for some clue we were totally puzzled.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked Hubby, who was older than me.
"I don't know. It must be a fake."
On we went, stopping for the night. We picked a cave to shelter in. I felt weird sensations in my stomach. Hunger. Never experienced this before. The table was always set at home. We grew our own food and had a ready supply.
"Do you want this apple?" Hubby quiried.
"No, thanks, I've had enough of apples to last a life time." Apples got us into this trouble. Don't ask how, it's a long story. We dined on what vegetation we could find nearby. Everything was wild and hard to pick.
It was cold inside. We huddled together placing leaves over us for insulation till finally Hubby decided to try to get a fire started. He scratched some rocks together over dried grass till eventually we had a little blaze. We heard some growling outside. Going to the cave entrance we peered out. There were two lions standing two feet away, showing us the huge fangs they possessed.
"Hey, boys! Glad to see you." Hubby exclaimed, but jumped back quickly when the growling grew louder and the beasts leaned forward as if to attack. Thankfully the fire kept them from getting closer. What in the world is going on? We've never been attacked by animals before. We all respected each other. We never had any trouble with the wild life around home. Food was plentiful for all, no need to get nasty.
Several days latter we found a location to settle down. There was a large field and waterfall handy. We explored a gigantic cave that I added some home touches to. Hubby started the only life he knew. Farming. Things weren't as easy for him here. Thorns and weeds strangled out most of the vegetables. He came back every night exhausted, scratched and sunburnt. Discouragement hit us hard. We had difficulty facing each other, I blamed him for us being here and he blamed me.
Then one day I bent over in severe pain. The pain lasted forever. It was ripping me in two. Hubby was frantic. We may have had some issues with each other but we were all we had. I lay on the cave floor writhing and screaming. Hubby stayed by me holding my hand and crying. Something was awfully wrong. Hours and hours past with minutes of respite. Sweat was pooling on the floor. I was bleeding. Suddenly something popped. I screamed. My inards tumbled out of me. Ahhhhh.
Hubby stared and stared. Then he picked up what ever it was and brought it to my head where I could get a good view of it. My "inards" made noices, gurgly-cooey sounds. It appeared to be a minature duplicate of us. It had arms and legs and a face similiar to us,but it was dwarfish and bloody. I pushed it away in terror.Hubby held it close to him and it reached for his breast with it's tiny mouth. Boy, if my painful condition scared Hubby this thing licking his breast startled the pee out of him.
Some natural instinct in me finally rose to the surface and I reached for the creature and held it to my breast where it started suckling, I could see milk oozing out of the corners of a little mouth. "I think this is the beginning of our family. Do you think we should give it a name? I like the sound of 'Cain' "
"A family? We don't have time for a family. I don't know if we're "able" to raise Cain." Was Hubby's response before he passed out.
We marched on through the gate and into the jungle carrying what little luggage we owned, forming a path as we went, cutting down vines and crawling over logs, or pushing them aside. It was a path we'd never find again. It would grow wild and overgrown with more bushes in time. We'd never find our way back. Dad was placing sentries around the parameters to keep us out. How cold hearted.
We kept on going and going. Looking for the perfect place to restart our lives. I doubt we would find it. Home had been picture perfect, Husband's dad had spent years cultivating and landscaping it before Hubby was even born. All we had to do was the upkeep, which was easy. Sometimes living easy, living off your parents prevents you from growing up.
Something hit me on the back. Glancing up into the trees I saw a monkey hanging from a branch with one hand. The other hand was holding an apple."Look, it's Mixy". I announced.
Hubby looked to where I was pointing and tried to coax Mixy down. "She must have followed us all this way. Come here girl." Another apple came flying down and pummelled off Hubby's chest,forming a bruise next to a scar he'd had for as long as I could remember. "Hey, what are you doing!" he yelled. Then the strangest thing happened. Mixy narrowed her eyes and curled the right side of her lip up and showed us her teeth. She was snarling. I've never seen a snarl before. It was ugly. She vanished back into the trees. Hubby had raised Mixy. How odd she turned on him like that. What did she have to be angry about?
We trudged on and stopped midday to rest and eat some berries. There was a river nearby I went to get a drink from. Cupping my hands to hold water I scooped some up. It looked horrible. Dirt and sediment and little wiggly things. What happened to the clear fresh water from home. Wasn't this the same river? Up stream we came upon a bear lying strangely still. Curious. It didn't seem to be breathing. We pushed on it's body hoping to awaken it. Hubby leaned down and breathed into it's mouth. He first memory of his dad was of him breathing air into his lungs. Nothing. We've never seen a animal so listless. Looking around for some clue we were totally puzzled.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked Hubby, who was older than me.
"I don't know. It must be a fake."
On we went, stopping for the night. We picked a cave to shelter in. I felt weird sensations in my stomach. Hunger. Never experienced this before. The table was always set at home. We grew our own food and had a ready supply.
"Do you want this apple?" Hubby quiried.
"No, thanks, I've had enough of apples to last a life time." Apples got us into this trouble. Don't ask how, it's a long story. We dined on what vegetation we could find nearby. Everything was wild and hard to pick.
It was cold inside. We huddled together placing leaves over us for insulation till finally Hubby decided to try to get a fire started. He scratched some rocks together over dried grass till eventually we had a little blaze. We heard some growling outside. Going to the cave entrance we peered out. There were two lions standing two feet away, showing us the huge fangs they possessed.
"Hey, boys! Glad to see you." Hubby exclaimed, but jumped back quickly when the growling grew louder and the beasts leaned forward as if to attack. Thankfully the fire kept them from getting closer. What in the world is going on? We've never been attacked by animals before. We all respected each other. We never had any trouble with the wild life around home. Food was plentiful for all, no need to get nasty.
Several days latter we found a location to settle down. There was a large field and waterfall handy. We explored a gigantic cave that I added some home touches to. Hubby started the only life he knew. Farming. Things weren't as easy for him here. Thorns and weeds strangled out most of the vegetables. He came back every night exhausted, scratched and sunburnt. Discouragement hit us hard. We had difficulty facing each other, I blamed him for us being here and he blamed me.
Then one day I bent over in severe pain. The pain lasted forever. It was ripping me in two. Hubby was frantic. We may have had some issues with each other but we were all we had. I lay on the cave floor writhing and screaming. Hubby stayed by me holding my hand and crying. Something was awfully wrong. Hours and hours past with minutes of respite. Sweat was pooling on the floor. I was bleeding. Suddenly something popped. I screamed. My inards tumbled out of me. Ahhhhh.
Hubby stared and stared. Then he picked up what ever it was and brought it to my head where I could get a good view of it. My "inards" made noices, gurgly-cooey sounds. It appeared to be a minature duplicate of us. It had arms and legs and a face similiar to us,but it was dwarfish and bloody. I pushed it away in terror.Hubby held it close to him and it reached for his breast with it's tiny mouth. Boy, if my painful condition scared Hubby this thing licking his breast startled the pee out of him.
Some natural instinct in me finally rose to the surface and I reached for the creature and held it to my breast where it started suckling, I could see milk oozing out of the corners of a little mouth. "I think this is the beginning of our family. Do you think we should give it a name? I like the sound of 'Cain' "
"A family? We don't have time for a family. I don't know if we're "able" to raise Cain." Was Hubby's response before he passed out.
Gen 3:22-24Romans 8:22
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