by collette mcfarland
07/14/06
For Sale
Family reunion
I sat behind him
holding on for dear life. The wind blowing in our faces splattering our masks with bugs. The ride has been hard and
arduous. Sitting on a motorcycle for days is anything but delightful for me
right now. I used to
enjoy it but my recent weight gain, centrally located, has made it uncomfortable.
We are on our way to
meet Joe's family at a reunion in a little farming town in the heart of
Arkansas. The
first since our marriage. I've not met most of his relatives
and the one's I do know are not singing my praises. They cautioned Joe to
reconsider marrying me. I'm too young to
be faithful, having gotten myself in the family way, and by their theory, not
by Joe. I have excess baggage, I have mental disorders, illusions of grandeur. You name it, they've said it. No one in the
band is on my side. My Joe though thinks I’m worth the trouble. He's heard the
same voices as me, seen the same visions of the future that I’ve had.
“We’re almost there, “Joe
assured me, patting my hands that were wrapped around his waist.
I can't wait to see
his ancestral home as it has been in his family for centuries. His relatives
have had numerous difficulties keeping hold of the home since farming has
suffered over the years with droughts and other various problems.
The night was thick around us, our lone headlight lighting the way along the narrow back roads, trees and open
fields whizzing past. We swerved several times to avoid deer and stray
cattle that stepped out from the darkness. I was pretty sure we'd survive the trip
whole as the lord of the universe was with us.
Joe asked me once if
I wanted to stop for the night and continue on the next day but I knew he was anxious about getting me to a soft
bed. I didn't want to add to his worries about me. I promised him I'd be okay.
Even I can tell lies.
Every muscle in my frame hurt, my head ached, and I was
chilled despite the leather jacket Joe loaned me. He will be a fantastic husband
and father some day. I laid my head on his shoulder, grateful he was in this
with me. God found
the perfect husband for me.
Joe nudged me, I
don't know how but I must have dozed off? Up ahead were some wooden structures that had the glorious appearance of a
farming residence! We ere here. Happy anticipation and ugly dread welled up in me
simultaneously. I was looking forward to a hot shower and a goose down filled
mattress. But I
surely wasn't looking forward to the freezing stares and
back biting that would surface in the family. Joe had offered to come alone but we
both knew we'd be running for our entire lives so we decided to face the jury
early, together and
unified. Family support should be expected, not begged for. My
parents have disowned me saying I disgraced them, They had reasoned with
me and Joe when we announced our intentions to marry someday, promising an elaborate
wedding if we waited three years till I was eighteen but instead we eloped,
giving an illogical explanation.
Now they abhorred Joe
for sweeping me off so secretively, where once they had admired and respected his integrity, even though they
thought he was way to old for me at thirty. My friend's parents restricted them
from associating with
me. I wasn't a nice girl anymore. Being an honor student and
god fearing girl once, at the synagogue as often as the doors opened, I had
now slipped into immorality. I was an outcast to everyone I knew. I had only
one cousin that
believed the story of my pregnancy. One cousin out of dozens
wasn’t saying much, and this one was
something of a clairvoyant; my family thought her incredibly unreliable
since she was up in years and dealing with a husband who’d recently lost his
voice about the time she became pregnant herself, as much to her shock as the community’s
. So Joe and I had to start out married life under the burden of heavy
disapproval and would probably have to
do a lot of unwanted traveling to protect our secret.
Joe parked in the
driveway and helped me off the rear. Lights were on in the house but no cars were outside. It looked deserted. Joe went
to the door, discovered it was locked, and found the note. Everyone
had gone down the
road to his uncle’s, he was
invited to join them and he could bring "that woman" with him. Me, that woman. His gaze swept over me measuring my
exhaustion and he opted to stay here till they returned, we had ridden enough for
now.
"Let's go in
the barn and rest." he suggested, getting our gear out of the storage unit. I followed him on heavily swollen ankles, my
body feeling restless.
In the barn, lying on
a mattress of straw, I became alarmed. I was in pain so severe I can't describe it. All my muscles bunched up and
tried to squeeze the life from me, literally. Joe's eyes widened in trepidation.
"I'm going for help!" he stated.
"No, don't
leave, I'm scared!" I yelled, grabbing his arm, breaking skin with my nails.
It was too early for
this. My doctor advised against this trip warning that I had two more weeks to count down if I was
careful. I never knew such pain was possible, I had conned myself into thinking I
would be spared
this misery, that giving birth would be as heavenly as the conception. I was
convinced Joe was going to faint but something got into him and he took over the
situation, fully in control.
He laid some horse
blankets down on the hay and eased me onto them. My construction worker husband, never exposed to human child
birth in his life, acted experienced as he helped deliver our baby. "A
boy", Joe confirmed, though
we already knew that, even without sonograms. A son all
covered in blood an goop. He didn’t look a thing like I expected. His face all
red and scrunched up with crying. If this was considered a miracle he looked
like a mess to me.
He even peed on me as he lay on my abdomen where Joe placed
him before he severed the umbilical cord. Joe must have done some heavy
reading of first aide material! Or being raised by farmers had served a good
purpose. Our baby would be told repeatedly that he had been born on the same family
land as had generations before him. Finally something positive to say to
him as he grew up. Hopefully it would improve the reputation of Arkansas, not
much good has ever
come out of this state. We weren't big fans of Clinton.
Sorry. I was criticized but he avoided impeachment, give me a break!
I lay there in the
straw and equine blankets, sweaty, bloody and depleted of all physical reserve. There was a explosion of lightning
outside over the hills, or was it a falling meteorite? The lightning was
followed by hundreds of
falling stars. Were the heavens collapsing? Would the fields
burst into flame? And then a choir broke into song somewhere in the distance.
It sounded close and was comforting. I held my son close and marveling
at him we fell asleep
together serenaded by the music.
Soon afterwards people started trickling home. I could hear
slow footsteps approach the barn. Joe opened the door and saw his family
shuffling about in the light that fell from the lantern he was holding. They
looked oddly
uncomfortable, afraid to approach a relative they had known
for years. Joe went out to explain to them what had taken place, but he was
astonished to discover they already were informed of the event. They had received
an announcement from an invisible choir. It shook them up so badly some of the
group had wet spots on their overalls. They were real hesitant to admit they
might have made a mistake about cutting me down. They were begging Joe for
forgiveness and wanted a pledge we wouldn't call down a curse on their heads. My
Joe, always the honorable man, informed them there was nothing to forgive
and to not be ridiculous, he had gone through the same agonizing reflections
as they had
months earlier and had time to come to terms with
circumstances. He too, had had visitations from unseen sources, family insanity must be
hereditary, he joked. They laughed nervously.
Everyone entered
slowly and reverently, awestruck by the miracle of birth considering, as farmers, they were well saturated with the
phenomenon. They wanted to get me on my feet and into a clean bed. Joe's old eccentric, widowed Aunt Anna supported me, as his even older cousin
Simeon, lifted the babe into his arms, proclaiming he was now ready
for death,. Odd thing to say, I thought, while holding a newborn.
I could almost feel
the warm shower I was about to receive and taste a hearty country meal melting in my mouth before I climbed under
homemade quilts. All anxiety flowed out of me, I even forgot the pain I had just
under gone. It’s a
wonder the human race has continued. If it had been up to me
the world would be childless.
Crossing the driveway
to the house I heard one of Joe's brothers comment on the sky. "Where did that star come from? I've never
seen one so bright!"
math 1:18-2:12
luke 2:25-38
No comments:
Post a Comment