It was a blistering hot Texan day. I was sitting outside a gas station with my dog, working. I looked enviously across the lot at the air conditioned convenience store. Perspiring heavily, I wished I could work inside. Occasionally I would moisten my face with a wet rag from my duffel bag and sneak a drink from the paper sack. It was only a coke, alcohol in this heat would kill me. Plus booze was detected on my breath it would affect my job.
Some cars were pulling up beside the tanks. As the owners disembarked and started refueling I would cautiously approach them and ask,"Excuse me, can you spare some change for me and my dog to get something to eat and drink?"The first lady I approached replied with a curt, "No."I recited a few indian curses under my breath and went down the line of cars. One lady emptied the console between the bucket seats of her car and handed all her change over to me. One gentleman, getting ready to pullout, opened his wallet and pulled out a few bills. Another couple gave my dog some water they poured in their hands and followed that up with some tasty doggy treat. He licked their hands dry and gobbled up the feast with gusto. A few people suggested I get a job.(excuse me, this is a job!) One young couple offered to take me to their church so I could apply for assistance from their food pantry. I would get a substantial helping of groceries delivered to my home after my application was reviewed. I informed them I had no home. Oh, we can help with that also. I pocketed their church card, promised to read it (thinking to myself,LIAR) and proceeded on down the line of cars, my hand held out and my dog in tow.
I got told a time or two, "If you can't take care of yourself, you don't need a dog!"
I informed these people,"Living on the streets it's important to have protection. I can't afford a security system."
It was getting late and hotter as the sun rose into the afternoon sky. I finally entered the air conditioned convenience store and purchased a gatorade and health food bar. The people in line eyed me suspiciously. They inched back as if poverty was a contagious disease, (I felt tempted to cough violenty and not cover my mouth.) Or maybe they thought I would jump all of them and take their precious hard earned money. Well, I worked hard for mine also. It's not easy sitting outside all day pleading for handouts.
Deciding it was time to move on I tugged on Faithful's leash and guided him up the street rounding several blocks, stopping now and then at street corners with heavy traffic to hold up my,"Need food for me and dog, God Bless" sign. Most people don't carry food with them so they flung money at me hurriedly before the lights changed from red to green. I didn't mind gathering coins from the curbside where they rolled. I've got no pride, but I'm loaded with greed.
I entered a different gas station bathroom ,washed up at the sink, then changed into some clean clothes I carried in my duffel bag. I applied some make-up, then preened in front of the mirrow. Next I dumped the contents of a medium sized pouch out on the counter and counted my blessings. Two hundred and fifty dollars. (plus some candy,sandwiches, and religious brochures which made it to the trash bin) Not bad for a days work of 6 hours. That's about forty two bucks and hour, without a high school education.
I then crossed a parking lot where two cars were parked under a tree. I walked up to the shiny silver Lexus and admired it. Pressing my face to the windows I drooled over the leather upholstery, the console, the radio, the spacious back seating. Boy. I'd love to have a car like this someday. I'll have to work harder to achieve something this nice. The other car was a fairly new Pt. Cruiser. It was kept in excellent condition. Nice bright red color, nice interior, good mileage. It will do. I looked about me, carefully. I jammed my hands deeper into my pockets and pulled out a set of keys. Glancing up and down the street, hoping to not get caught, I pushed the remote button, unlocked the back door and let Faithful onto the seats covered with a nice flannel throw. Then, swinging my knapsack in, I got behind the wheel and started the engine and cooling system.
It sure will be nice to get home and take a nice cool swim in the backyard pool while sipping a wine cooler, but first, a trip to my bank to get all this darn change deposited so I can pay this month's bills. See ya'll suckers again tomorrow!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Tough Love
I looked over my shoulder. My husband's dad was watching us leave. He stood in the middle of the yard, tears forming in his eyes. My husband wouldn't look back. He was too ashamed. We had been asked to leave because of a silly misunderstanding. Basically it was a "you're under my roof so you follow my rules," disagreement. Well, we slipped up, now we're shipping out. It was obviously hurting dad more than he'd admit. This had been my only home since I got married and I would miss it.
We marched on through the gate and into the jungle carrying what little luggage we owned, forming a path as we went, cutting down vines and crawling over logs, or pushing them aside. It was a path we'd never find again. It would grow wild and overgrown with more bushes in time. We'd never find our way back. Dad was placing sentries around the parameters to keep us out. How cold hearted.
We kept on going and going. Looking for the perfect place to restart our lives. I doubt we would find it. Home had been picture perfect, Husband's dad had spent years cultivating and landscaping it before Hubby was even born. All we had to do was the upkeep, which was easy. Sometimes living easy, living off your parents prevents you from growing up.
Something hit me on the back. Glancing up into the trees I saw a monkey hanging from a branch with one hand. The other hand was holding an apple."Look, it's Mixy". I announced.
Hubby looked to where I was pointing and tried to coax Mixy down. "She must have followed us all this way. Come here girl." Another apple came flying down and pummelled off Hubby's chest,forming a bruise next to a scar he'd had for as long as I could remember. "Hey, what are you doing!" he yelled. Then the strangest thing happened. Mixy narrowed her eyes and curled the right side of her lip up and showed us her teeth. She was snarling. I've never seen a snarl before. It was ugly. She vanished back into the trees. Hubby had raised Mixy. How odd she turned on him like that. What did she have to be angry about?
We trudged on and stopped midday to rest and eat some berries. There was a river nearby I went to get a drink from. Cupping my hands to hold water I scooped some up. It looked horrible. Dirt and sediment and little wiggly things. What happened to the clear fresh water from home. Wasn't this the same river? Up stream we came upon a bear lying strangely still. Curious. It didn't seem to be breathing. We pushed on it's body hoping to awaken it. Hubby leaned down and breathed into it's mouth. He first memory of his dad was of him breathing air into his lungs. Nothing. We've never seen a animal so listless. Looking around for some clue we were totally puzzled.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked Hubby, who was older than me.
"I don't know. It must be a fake."
On we went, stopping for the night. We picked a cave to shelter in. I felt weird sensations in my stomach. Hunger. Never experienced this before. The table was always set at home. We grew our own food and had a ready supply.
"Do you want this apple?" Hubby quiried.
"No, thanks, I've had enough of apples to last a life time." Apples got us into this trouble. Don't ask how, it's a long story. We dined on what vegetation we could find nearby. Everything was wild and hard to pick.
It was cold inside. We huddled together placing leaves over us for insulation till finally Hubby decided to try to get a fire started. He scratched some rocks together over dried grass till eventually we had a little blaze. We heard some growling outside. Going to the cave entrance we peered out. There were two lions standing two feet away, showing us the huge fangs they possessed.
"Hey, boys! Glad to see you." Hubby exclaimed, but jumped back quickly when the growling grew louder and the beasts leaned forward as if to attack. Thankfully the fire kept them from getting closer. What in the world is going on? We've never been attacked by animals before. We all respected each other. We never had any trouble with the wild life around home. Food was plentiful for all, no need to get nasty.
Several days latter we found a location to settle down. There was a large field and waterfall handy. We explored a gigantic cave that I added some home touches to. Hubby started the only life he knew. Farming. Things weren't as easy for him here. Thorns and weeds strangled out most of the vegetables. He came back every night exhausted, scratched and sunburnt. Discouragement hit us hard. We had difficulty facing each other, I blamed him for us being here and he blamed me.
Then one day I bent over in severe pain. The pain lasted forever. It was ripping me in two. Hubby was frantic. We may have had some issues with each other but we were all we had. I lay on the cave floor writhing and screaming. Hubby stayed by me holding my hand and crying. Something was awfully wrong. Hours and hours past with minutes of respite. Sweat was pooling on the floor. I was bleeding. Suddenly something popped. I screamed. My inards tumbled out of me. Ahhhhh.
Hubby stared and stared. Then he picked up what ever it was and brought it to my head where I could get a good view of it. My "inards" made noices, gurgly-cooey sounds. It appeared to be a minature duplicate of us. It had arms and legs and a face similiar to us,but it was dwarfish and bloody. I pushed it away in terror.Hubby held it close to him and it reached for his breast with it's tiny mouth. Boy, if my painful condition scared Hubby this thing licking his breast startled the pee out of him.
Some natural instinct in me finally rose to the surface and I reached for the creature and held it to my breast where it started suckling, I could see milk oozing out of the corners of a little mouth. "I think this is the beginning of our family. Do you think we should give it a name? I like the sound of 'Cain' "
"A family? We don't have time for a family. I don't know if we're "able" to raise Cain." Was Hubby's response before he passed out.
We marched on through the gate and into the jungle carrying what little luggage we owned, forming a path as we went, cutting down vines and crawling over logs, or pushing them aside. It was a path we'd never find again. It would grow wild and overgrown with more bushes in time. We'd never find our way back. Dad was placing sentries around the parameters to keep us out. How cold hearted.
We kept on going and going. Looking for the perfect place to restart our lives. I doubt we would find it. Home had been picture perfect, Husband's dad had spent years cultivating and landscaping it before Hubby was even born. All we had to do was the upkeep, which was easy. Sometimes living easy, living off your parents prevents you from growing up.
Something hit me on the back. Glancing up into the trees I saw a monkey hanging from a branch with one hand. The other hand was holding an apple."Look, it's Mixy". I announced.
Hubby looked to where I was pointing and tried to coax Mixy down. "She must have followed us all this way. Come here girl." Another apple came flying down and pummelled off Hubby's chest,forming a bruise next to a scar he'd had for as long as I could remember. "Hey, what are you doing!" he yelled. Then the strangest thing happened. Mixy narrowed her eyes and curled the right side of her lip up and showed us her teeth. She was snarling. I've never seen a snarl before. It was ugly. She vanished back into the trees. Hubby had raised Mixy. How odd she turned on him like that. What did she have to be angry about?
We trudged on and stopped midday to rest and eat some berries. There was a river nearby I went to get a drink from. Cupping my hands to hold water I scooped some up. It looked horrible. Dirt and sediment and little wiggly things. What happened to the clear fresh water from home. Wasn't this the same river? Up stream we came upon a bear lying strangely still. Curious. It didn't seem to be breathing. We pushed on it's body hoping to awaken it. Hubby leaned down and breathed into it's mouth. He first memory of his dad was of him breathing air into his lungs. Nothing. We've never seen a animal so listless. Looking around for some clue we were totally puzzled.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked Hubby, who was older than me.
"I don't know. It must be a fake."
On we went, stopping for the night. We picked a cave to shelter in. I felt weird sensations in my stomach. Hunger. Never experienced this before. The table was always set at home. We grew our own food and had a ready supply.
"Do you want this apple?" Hubby quiried.
"No, thanks, I've had enough of apples to last a life time." Apples got us into this trouble. Don't ask how, it's a long story. We dined on what vegetation we could find nearby. Everything was wild and hard to pick.
It was cold inside. We huddled together placing leaves over us for insulation till finally Hubby decided to try to get a fire started. He scratched some rocks together over dried grass till eventually we had a little blaze. We heard some growling outside. Going to the cave entrance we peered out. There were two lions standing two feet away, showing us the huge fangs they possessed.
"Hey, boys! Glad to see you." Hubby exclaimed, but jumped back quickly when the growling grew louder and the beasts leaned forward as if to attack. Thankfully the fire kept them from getting closer. What in the world is going on? We've never been attacked by animals before. We all respected each other. We never had any trouble with the wild life around home. Food was plentiful for all, no need to get nasty.
Several days latter we found a location to settle down. There was a large field and waterfall handy. We explored a gigantic cave that I added some home touches to. Hubby started the only life he knew. Farming. Things weren't as easy for him here. Thorns and weeds strangled out most of the vegetables. He came back every night exhausted, scratched and sunburnt. Discouragement hit us hard. We had difficulty facing each other, I blamed him for us being here and he blamed me.
Then one day I bent over in severe pain. The pain lasted forever. It was ripping me in two. Hubby was frantic. We may have had some issues with each other but we were all we had. I lay on the cave floor writhing and screaming. Hubby stayed by me holding my hand and crying. Something was awfully wrong. Hours and hours past with minutes of respite. Sweat was pooling on the floor. I was bleeding. Suddenly something popped. I screamed. My inards tumbled out of me. Ahhhhh.
Hubby stared and stared. Then he picked up what ever it was and brought it to my head where I could get a good view of it. My "inards" made noices, gurgly-cooey sounds. It appeared to be a minature duplicate of us. It had arms and legs and a face similiar to us,but it was dwarfish and bloody. I pushed it away in terror.Hubby held it close to him and it reached for his breast with it's tiny mouth. Boy, if my painful condition scared Hubby this thing licking his breast startled the pee out of him.
Some natural instinct in me finally rose to the surface and I reached for the creature and held it to my breast where it started suckling, I could see milk oozing out of the corners of a little mouth. "I think this is the beginning of our family. Do you think we should give it a name? I like the sound of 'Cain' "
"A family? We don't have time for a family. I don't know if we're "able" to raise Cain." Was Hubby's response before he passed out.
Gen 3:22-24Romans 8:22
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