The Cruise

Yes, indeed. Schizophrenia. That's what it was all right. Books are great for diagnosing things. Why did I spend all that time trying to get help when all I had to do was a little research? I just don't know what to do about it, now that I have a name for it.

I was standing in the kitchen staring out the window. My poor husband. He was completely normal except for this. Hearing voices that weren't there. Voices with a mission for him, no less. Hell, half the time he didn't hear me but he hears voices in his head!! All he could say was I was jealous I didn't hear the same voices.

When all this started I went to the rabbi for help and guidance. The only guidance he wanted to give me was to the couch. Next I went to a secular counselor. She was proving to be very helpful, till she helped herself to my knee. My husband may be off mentally but he's on target about the world being sick. I just don't fancy his approach. Cutting us off. How could we possibly do that? We have to live here! I'm not Annie Oakley or any other pioneer woman. I'm used to going to the market for my needs. I wouldn't know how to make clothes or bread. All the neighbors shake their heads at me as I pass. It's humiliating to be viewed as the odd one out when I could cast enough stones at them to build a sky scraper.

"Mom, are you ready?" Daughter-in-law #3 laid her hands on my shoulder. I guess the car was loaded with our first installments to the new location."No, but let's get going." I carried out the carton of dishes I just packed and got into the back seat of the mini van with my other two daughters-in-law who will henceforth be simply referred to as daughters.

Our new home to-be was located out in the wilderness off the main road, hiding behind trees that were blocking the view of the nosy by passers who jeered and cursed my Husband while he slaved over the construction with my three sons.As the van neared the building I noticed something odd about it. Trees that had surrounded it previously had been downed for extra wood and I could see the shape of the building project clearer. Animals were milling around grazing on the forest floor vegetation. I know nothing about husbandry. Glad my daughters had been farm girls growing up. All my experience with four footed creatures was at the zoo, which is what our "yard" resembled right now.Hubby met me at the door and with a sweep of his hand ushered me in. "You know, this looks like a--""Come on I want to show you our apartments!" He was so excited.Our place was on the third floor. "Why so high?" I queried."We'll have sunroofs for lighting. The lower levels will be darker. Our power will also be sun generated."

I toured the upper level slowly. It was very nice. Rooms for the kids and their wives, and a huge kitchen, I mean galley. Extra rooms for nurseries when needed. A sun deck and large family room. Library with more books that we'll ever need. Lots of books on basic survival. I might use those. Books on how to can, how to sew, how to keep from loosing your sanity. Tons of books on God. What did we need those for. According to Hubby he had first hand relationship with the creator!! Now I'm beginning to scoff, just like the towns folk!

The second level was storage for food, medicines and other necessities. Looked like enough supplies to last a year for eight adults and our livestock. I wouldn't see another living soul for a year!!! I was beginning to feel claustrophobic and we hadn't moved in yet.

During the days of moving the villagers stared at us like felons. We weren't any better than they were as far as they could see. One of my daughters shivered every time she saw a group of teenagers. They had attempted to rape her one night on her way home from the work, the police wouldn't do anything about it, they were just boys having fun. I saw several of the business owners who had taken advantage of us by over charging when they learned of our intentions to separate from society. It wasn't a kosher environment we were escaping, but it was all I knew. Many of the women had tried unsuccessfully to seduce my sons. Glad my boys had common sense. No telling what diseases these women needed treatment for, as thin and pale as they were.

Moving day was here. Hubby, sons and well trained hunting dogs had herded all the animals in for the night and tucked them into their stalls on the lower level. The doors closed and locked automatically after the last four footed creature entered. How did Hubby arrange for that? While I was on the third floor unloading cartons, I attempted to pull a chair up to use as a ladder. It was nailed to the floor. Whatever for. Odd how the shelves are built with little ledges.
Splish, splash. Looking up I saw raindrops hitting the skylight. A loud swishing sound followed the rain. We all ran to the windows and watched as water started rising up from cracks in the ground, burying the tree trunks, lapping at the bark, raising dirt and leaves off the terra firma. Muck. Yuck.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking nervously at Hubby. His voices had predicted this, I wouldn't believe I was seeing what I was seeing."You'll know soon enough," he promised.
Days, then weeks of heavy rainfall, accompanied by thunder and lightening pursued. As the water got higher trucks pulled up in our yard crammed with people that had poked fun at us over the past year. Men started shooting at our windows, cursing us, trying to gain entrance. Sure, we were going to let armed men inside. Right, get real. One lady held up her infant and begged us to take it on board. On board? That's when I remembered my first impression of our new home. It looked like a boat because it was a boat! Hubby had been for warned of possible attacks. The windows were bullet proof.

After another week we started to float. I always wanted to take a cruise, but this didn't meet my expectations. The boat started to sway and toss as waves hit the side and we bounced off the submerged trees, hills and buildings. The furniture stayed mobile, but I made frequent trips to the john.

The days that followed were anything but boring. When I went into the walk-in freezer to get dinner, a penguin riding around on the back of a polar bear greeted me. Then there was laundry day (which with eight people was everyday) when I found two chimpanzees tumbling about in the industrial sized dryers. I went to the bathroom and found a snake in the toilet and a duck in the tub. The straw that broke the camel's back,(figuratively, we did have two of them on board) was the lion I found stretched out on my lazy boy licking his privates. Now I feel the king of beasts can sit anywhere he wants too, licking whatever he wants, but this queen's lazy boy is off limits, I thought as I tipped the chair over and spilled it's contents onto the floor. The surly lion sauntered away. Smart boy, he must have heard about a woman's wrath. The grand finale was when I was swimming in the olympic size pool. Something snatched me out by the waist and dumped me on it's back with a trunk full of water! Double yuck.

The rain finally let up and I was on the sun deck looking over a world of water. Not a single living soul was about, with the exception of the whales and dolphins that swam along side of the ship waving their fins at us and gently rocking our vessel. Bodies that had been floating for weeks had become fish food and no longer existed to mar the view. I turned my back and something wet, rough and long ran up and down my neck. I froze. Hubby laughed. Turning slowly, not having a clue of what to expect I met the face of a giraffe. His body was two stories below us but his tongue was washing my back!!!!! Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Tin cans!! It was my passion to resell tin cans and the water's surface was loaded with them! I scooped out a dozen with a fish net when Hubby questioned my motives."These are worth money!" I answered"Oh yeah? Who you going to sell them too?""I...We...Ohhhhhh!" I tossed them back into the ocean.

It took months for the waters to recede but it finally happened. The winds had blown the waters away, our homing birds not only found land they refused to come home and our boat settled on a mountaintop. A beautifully multi-colored bow decorated the sky and our doors to the outside opened. All by themselves? I think not. The animals rushed out, and not in any orderly fashion. With sheer delight and freedom they raced around, rolling in mud and butting heads with each other. They definitely were not returning to their cramped confines. A few looked back momentarily for one last view of their cooks before disappearing into the horizon to fend for themselves once again.

"Now what? Does your mysterious voice have any more commands for us?" I asked Hubby as I leaned into his shoulders, watching the last passengers to disembark, a pair of turtles, carrying two snails."Yep. Now we're to re-populate the earth." He said between nibbles on my neck."I gave you three sons already, I'm leaving that up to them. And if you don't like it go find...Ooops, there isn't anyone else." I smirked up at him wickedly as I led him back upstairs. I was beginning to like this voice in his head, who cares if I can't hear it, at least Hubby listens.
Gen 6:1-9:282 Peter 3:5-7

The Storm

We were finished with the graveside funerals. It was a small secretive gathering. Five more of our friends were recently murdered by terrorists bent on the destruction of every Christian they found and left to rot where they lay to feed the wild dogs and scavengers. They had been found trying to steal food for our eclectic family unit, that was decreasing in size almost daily.
Almost a decade ago the old cemetery lost about ninety percent of it's occupants. Stolen?. That was the at the start of a new era. We've buried many new friends here, at this new location, since. Not that anyone would hunt for them, a dead christian was a good christian and not worth the bother. I wiped the sweat from my unmarked forehead with a clean rag. Digging five holes with four people, with shovels, the old fashioned way, is not easy, physically or mentally.

The building we convened in to mourn our losses used to be the community center for my family. Now it was a dormitory and refuge for those of us that lost out years ago. My parents, sister and I had spent the majority of our time here when I was growing up. It held many memories for me. This was the last place I saw my parents before they disappeared. It was the last place I saw a lot of people. I wish I had paid more attention to what was taught here instead of being boy crazy, and influenced by the teen culture. It was where my nightmares started. It was where my hope started. Over the years, under cover of night, recent converts to Christ assembled here to watch preaching videos, (before we lost electricity for failure to pay),find answers and read bibles. Those bibles that weren't destroyed by marauding villains, or confiscated by high-ranking officials. Scoffers. Anarchists. The group that resided here now encouraged and supported each other. We protected each other from harm the best we could. We failed the five we just interred. This edifice was home and store house. We had provisions stacked up below to last our lifetime, hopefully, since we couldn't go to public places to shop.
We discussed recent news reports of soldiers hostile to believers being strategically relocated. Something ominous was brewing. Our enemies were assembling in great numbers getting ready for some mysterious military maneuver. Most likely it involved bloodshed. That's what they thrived on, good clean Christian blood. They were more than likely planning on another wholesale slaughter of us. What's new? They'd been killing us for approximately seven years now.

There was a loud sound outside. Looking at each other we hurried to the window. There wasn't a pane of glass left, having been victimized by rocks hurled by angry mobs. It sounded like thunder. In the sky a dark cloud was approaching at full speed. It was going to be another act of nature. We've seen our share of earthquakes, epidimics, hail storms, blackouts, droughts with accompanying heat waves and fires. What was left to destroy? We were in a dilapitated building being held together with a prayer and paper clips. What our foes hadn't, destroyed "father" nature had a slap at. I shuddered. This was going to be a long night. This structure was probably about to be flattened. It looked like we'd be sleeping in the storm shelter again. Canned spam and bottled water for dinner. We had created the basement room at the beginning for safety. It was not common knowledge it existed and had harbored many a hiding criminal. That's what we were once we became Christians. Criminals against the government, stamped guilty with treason.

Lightening flashed through the room. Thunder got louder. No. Wait. Did we hear hoof beats? We rushed to the window again. Scanning the horizon we didn't see any sign of a horse. Galloping. That was difinitely galloping. We stared at each other very puzzled. Lightening flashed again. No. Fire. Wasn't lightening fire?I directed my gaze up at the dark cloud. That was a strange cloud and it sure was coming fast. I blinked. I heard a collective gasp from my comrades. That wasn't a cloud. Those were....Unbelievable!! That black cloud was ...the bottom of.... thousands upon thousands of ...horse shoes!!!! The nearer they got I could see a lone stallion out front. It's rider wearing a blood soaked gown, with a name embroidered on it that I didn't recognize. He was brandishing a sword above his head, sunlight glinting off it. Fire came from his eyes. He was being chased by, no, followed by, I repeat, thousands upon thousands of white horses ridden by an army in white, all wearing at least one crown, some multiple crowns!

They were close enough to discern now. I could see... Oh, my gosh!! My family! My friends! My Lord!!! They waved at us and gave us the high five. We had survived to the end. My mom, dad and sister were laughing so hard if it had been possible they'd have been crying. They spurred their steeds on faster. We'd catch up with each other latter.

Those with me whooped and cheered and pointed to the makeshift cemetery. I was speechless. This seldom ever happens. The caskets we had lowered into the earth hours ago were bouncing around, popping up like jacks-in-the-box through the earth with the others we entombed over the years. The dearly departed had returned to the land of the living. Death couldn't keep it's grip on them any longer! They were also victorious, not to mention dumbfounded as they stared at their own tombstones.

Several horses separated from the envoy and trotted down to us. The riders, we all knew them, offered their arms and we were hoisted aboard.

"Where are you taking us!" I asked as we ascended higher and higher to join the rear of the army. Birds, birds and more birds, the rear guard of this regiment, whipped about us, eager to be fed at the end of the journey."To kick some serious butt!" was my answer.I said good-bye to the old church as we headed to one hell of a final battle. I hope someone brought hotdogs for the bon fire! The birds wouldn't go hungry tonight.
Rev 13:16-17Rev 16:1-21Rev. 19:11-23

you think you had a bad week?

I don't feel sorry for any of you saps who feel you were put through the ringer. I just survived the absolute worst week of my life. You're probably not interested in hearing my story but I don't give a darn, I'm going to tell you about it anyway.

I was minding my own business when the good Lord decided to uproot my life. Sure I sang,"Where ever you lead I'll go ", every Sunday while the chorus director swung his little stick around, but golly, who really meant it? I guess I joined the ranks of other liars that belt out that song. Here's a tip: next time you sing in church make sure you agree with the lyrics!

Any way, I argued with him. I refused to do his bidding. I wasn't worthy, wasn't interested, didn't have the time. Couldn't care less. Well....turns out those were the wrong things to say to him. He stalked me. He hounded me. He followed me around every corner and looked in every bar for me. He wouldn't let loose.

It was then my great idea occurred to me. Take a vacation. Get away for a while. He'll give up. When he realizes I really ain't going to do it, he'll have to give up. Find someone else to do the job.

I took off with some friends on their yacht. Yea, I know looking at me, you wouldn't think I had friends worth anything but I know some people. (Actually, they let me tag along to tend to their needs, but hey, a trip is a trip.)The weather started getting dicey and after it lasted a while I joked it could be my fault. They investigated this further and decided I was a major risk. They didn't want God's wrath chasing them across the seas. It would be easier to take care of themselves than they first supposed. I backed away from them. The look in their eyes frightened me, extremely! Geesh, can't people take a joke! The ship careened to one side, I lost my footing and bounced my head off the deck.

The next thing I was aware of was darkness. Wet darkness. They must have thrown me into a barrel. A big barrel. I was deep in muck, and slime. Things slithered and wiggled about my feet. I was floating on sewage. They must have tossed me into the waste bucket. Do yacht's have such a thing? I had to stand up to get my nose away from stench. Someone opened the lid, way, way above my head. I saw daylight, then was drenched in more sewage. Things bounced off me and clung to me. Seaweed, trash and who knows what else. It was dark in here and the opening closed quickly. With each new load of refuse the padded sides and floor contracted pushing the old load refuse to the rear. Fearing it was a garbage disposal and I would be mashed,slice and eliminated, I kept marching forward against a strong current of waste.

Every time the hatch was opened I yelled for help. I begged, pleaded, cajoled. How long would they continue this? This wasn't funny anymore. (In fact, it never was funny.) Surely they weren't going to chance jail for murder? Their type could always buy their way out of trouble. I'm a goner.

Okay, God. If this is your doing it's just not amusing. What happened to free will. I freely choose to not go where you lead. You got a problem with that? No, you're right, I have the problem.
I lost tract of time. It isn't a priority to have a schedule when you're just trying to keep your head above pollution level. There I stood, for days, attempting to survive, swaying with the waves, rolling about, spitting things out of my mouth, wiping things from my eyes. My skin burned from whatever acidic goop was poured down here. I occasionally was subjected to weird sounds. What kind of music were they listening to up there. It sounded mournful, like a nature tape of sea life.

I've had enough! I looked up to what I presumed was heaven and yelled. "Okay, God, You win. I'll do it!" I cried uncle, aunt, niece, cousin. What ever it took! I gave up.

Things happened at high speed then. The boat took off. I was flipped about and thrown off balance every time I regained my footing . Suddenly, wham. The brakes were applied and I flew out. Free! I found myself face down in sand. Sputtering and looking over my shoulder I spied a huge set of fins flapping in the air. I'm guessing I hadn't been on the boat in awhile. All the obscenities I'd been shouting to my tormentors were in vain. No one was around to hear the curses I had been placing on the blood of their families. Then a head soared up and white teeth were displayed. That thing was laughing at me! I swear it was! If a fish can say,"I told you so!", that's the message this thing was trying to convey to me.

Getting to my feet I brushed myself off. Partially digested food clung to me. I don't believe I'll ever go swimming or boating again. But I'll definitely enjoy seafood the next time I eat it.I'll be hoping it will be my acquaintance here. Who cares if he was just following orders. Mr. High and mighty fish! Think you're better than me? You just wait! I have officially been chewed up and spit out. Tell me if that's ever literally been done before... or since?

Two surfers walked up to me, carrying their boards."Hey, dude, you alright?" They asked, pinching their noses to avoid inhaling my pleasant aroma. Right, that made me feel good.
"Yea, I'm fine, considering." I ran my hand over my face and body checking to be sure I still had a full inventory. All fingers, toes, ears and eyes were present. My skin was a little smoother. Here's another tip, girls: Gastric juices apparently are good for the complexion. Once I finish up with my assignment I think I'll get a patent for gastric facial scrubs.

"Is there anything we can do for you?" "Can you point me in the direction of Nineveh? I have a big job to do."

As they walked away I over heard one surfer tell the other, "Man, that dude needs a bath before he shows up at work. Have you ever smelled anything so fishy and disgusting in your life?"
Jonah.

New World

I stepped out of my house and closed the door not bothering to lock it. All the
houses around me emitted sounds of laughter and giggling from open windows.
Children were unattended in the yards playing and amusing themselves.
Inhaling deeply of the clean fresh air I headed down the shiny new street bustling with activity. Many people in various native attire were in clusters up and down the avenue sharing testimonies and yelling out their greetings to me as I passed. I recognized several people that I had read about in history classes ages ago. I nodded at people I had never expected to see again. Many faces registered surprise at seeing me also, I'm glad that they hadn't been my judge and jury.

Every one here was multilingual and able to communicate in any language. We
all took great pride in our community, it had been under construction for a
long time. We had several gates to enter but we never closed them, the crime
rate was non existent. We had strict requirements in our neighborhood
association. No one was allowed that had a bad record or whose name wasn't
listed in "the book" with blood.

The buildings were tall and immaculate, the houses had numerous rooms that never needed cleaning. All were picture perfect, nor did graffiti or advertisements mar the walls. Thomas Kinkade must have been commissioned for the landscaping and architecture designs. There were no unnecessary buildings taking up space or marring the scenery. No fire stations, police stations , hospitals, medical clinics, funeral homes, women's or children's shelters. I passed by the blacksmith. He had gotten a new shipment of swords and rifles in today and he was melting the metal down to make plows and pruning hooks for the farmers in the vineyards and tree orchards.

We needed lots of food and all took turns in the gardens outside the
city. No pestilence or drought ever destroyed the labor of our hand. It was my
turn to take the sheep out to pasture so I went directly to the stables on the
outskirts of town. The sheep were so cute wagging their little stubby tails in
excitement as I led them through the valley that held no shadow of death to the
very,very green pastures that made me think of the Ireland I had never been to.
The countryside was dotted with rolling hills and sprinkled with wild flowers,
no weeds in sight, or in existence.

While the sheep grazed I lay down under one of the many tall oaks planted by the still waters that also ran down the center of town. The trees were planted for the sole purpose of providing me with shade. Their branches were overloaded with colorful birds of all species that sang to me as I rested. The water flowed so clear I could see the rocky bed bottom studded with golden stones. Fish were abundantly flopping up in the air and waving tails at me before they nose-dived back down. At the edge of the forest I noticed a black nose peeking out of the trees. Behind the nose was a wolf pup. He crept out on his belly towards the flock of lambs feeding nearby. With a huge leap he landed in the middle of four lambs and started chasing them. They ran around him in circles butting him with their heads, out came three more pups to join in the fracas. Then came mom. The ewes trotted over to watch the fun while Wolf mom sat on her haunches watching the melee and licking her paws. Finally exhausted the pups and lambs lay down to nap, then eventually the pups followed mom back into the woods ready to suckle.
I opened my lunch pack. All I brought was bread, this was a land flowing with milk that I procured from a nearby heard of cow, and honey that I scooped out of the nearest beehive onto my bread. I poured milk into my cup till it overflowed spilling down my arms. Yawning I stretched and snoozed. I wasn't ready to go back but I had too.

Looking into the cloudless sky I wondered what hour it was. There was no sun to measure the time by but I knew it was getting close to party time because I heard the herald angels singing. I rounded the well fed creatures up and stabled them.

Crowds were filing down the twelve straight roads that led to the city which
glowed brighter than Oz, the emerald city. Our city was built with
every glowing gem imaginable. Everyone was either chatting with his walking
partner or singing melodies, carrying hoes, rakes and other farming implements.
Not a tear or unhappy face in the lot. No one was huffing an puffing from
exertion. Exercise was good for us, this is how we were designed in the
beginning. There wasn't a grey head bobbing in the group. Above us tens of thousands of radiant winged creatures that resembled humans accompanied us. We were all ready for the big party, actually it was a nightly event,(I say nightly but it never got dark here).

We all gathered at the temple at the end of the river on Main Street for our meals. This ritual started immediately after the wedding that marked our city's opening day. Main street was lined with uncountable trees that continuously produced succulent fruit of all kinds for any passers-by to pluck. No one owned anything and everyone owned everything. Community living at it's finest. We only had the one place of worship down town and it was constantly humming. It was the absolute center of the universe. I stopped by my home first to change into a dinner dress and get my headdress. It was important to wear because at dinner we all tossed our crowns at the host's feet while we sang, "Though we've been here ten thousand years, we've no less days to sing his praise than when we first begun!"

Mary

I don't know what made me do the things I did. I always heard voices telling me , "Go ahead do it, it'll be fun." And the voices never agreed on what to do. Conflict upon conflict crowded my mind. I never kept friends for long. Mostly because they dropped me after they found I slept with their husbands. The last guy I slept with was the last. We just finished having a good time when the door flew open and there stood his wife. She ran screaming from the room. Seconds latter if not sooner the room was filled with neighbors. I barely had time to wrap a sheet around me before I was hauled outside. Sharp things pelted me. Beer bottles were breaking beside me. People were slapping and kicking me. This was it. The end. I wouldn't walk away from this. No one was going to call for help. Suddenly calm. More calm. My heart was pounding so hard that's all I could hear in my ears. I peeked out of the sheet I had pulled over my head, feet were walking away. They had stopped tormenting me. Timidly I lowered the sheet and looked around.

A group of men were sitting a ways off watching me. One of them walked over and handed me his long coat. "Try not to get into anymore trouble, okay?" He helped me to my feet and left.
I got up and raced home, showered and dressed. I felt something different. I didn't feel anything.Something was different, I always felt something. The voices were gone. This was strange. No one ordering me around.

I sat and drank some tea and reflected on things... for a long time. The sun set and rose again several times. I didn't go to work at the bar. I didn't feel like stripping for a living anymore. The desire to shock people had left with the voices.

A few days passed and I eventually stepped out of my house, no one recognized me as I had washed the goo off my face and was wearing a modest outfit. Strolling no where in particular I noticed an assembly in the park. There he was. The guy who gave me his coat. He must be some kind of story teller, an actor or something. I couldn't get close enough to ask him where he was staying since he was performing. Off to the side were some of the guys I recognized from that horrible night. I approached them to get his address. They politely gave me directions and told me when I could find him at home.

I couldn't get there fast enough with his coat. I really wanted to thank him for helping me. I didn't know the right way though because I usually expressed thanks physically and some how I didn't think that would go over big this time. I actually didn't even feel drawn to have sex with him or any of his buddies for that matter. When I arrived where he was staying there was another group of people. Man, was this guy ever alone? Such is the life of performers. Women and men were spilling out of the house having a good time. They wouldn't want me around. They were out of my league. They seemed like nice people. I never mixed well with nice people. I'm the girl every one's mother warns about. Then I saw him coming down the street. He was limping. His feet looked sore. I got to him first and offered him my shoulder to lean on the rest of the way home. He quietly accepted my offer. When we got there I took off his shoes and noticed a blister on his big toe. I inquired of his friends where the bathroom was and went for a wash rag and some water to clean his foot. Damn, I'd forgotten a towel to dry his foot with. I didn't want to look any stupider so I undid my braid and used my long hair pulling it between his clean pedal digits. It tickled his feet and we shared a comfortable laugh. He was really easy to be with. I had some perfume in my purse so I scented his feet with it for fun.

A long and wonderful relationship started between us. Since I was now out of work I followed him in his story telling trips and helped cook for the entourage. He hadn't been on the road long. His was a new act. It was a combination family counseling, medical treatment, entertainment show. We were cleaner than Walt Disney and no comparison to the Hare Krishna's. There were a lot of men and women devoted to him. We were a mixed bag of nuts but completely family. The people I thought were upper class clean cuts were from the same dysfunctional ,maladjusted drug pushing, alcoholic back ground as me. I loved him the most. But strangely nothing sexual ever entered my mind. I'm guessing it didn't enter his either because he never made a pass at me. For the first time since I'd been on my own I was treated respectfully and I was beginning to like it. And what's more I had female friends. We shared makeup stories and intimacies that I never got to share with anyone else before. We all had weird backgrounds, lots of excess baggage we dumped somewhere and actually walked away from.

Some of the established acts resented his apparent success. They had seniority with their acts and didn't like the throngs leaning towards his stage. His gimmicks and tricks really attracted attention. One day a group of jealous, murderous felons grabbed him and tortured him before they killed him. The law closed it's eyes to the event. No one wanted to take the blame or point a finger. He didn't even have a descent funeral. Someone just took his body and dumped it in a hole. I went with some friends to see that justice was done on his behalf and put him to rest properly. We looked all over for him. He was no where to be found. I got frantic. Life wasn't fair. He was such a quiet calm man. He hadn't looked for trouble, he just loved telling peaceful stories, stories that gave you that feel good about yourself feeling.

Suddenly we saw an explosion. I say saw because we didn't hear anything, just saw a bright light that covered half the horizon, then we felt the earth move, we fell to our knees and covered our heads. After a few seconds we regained our footing and hurried in that direction. As we got close two men ran past us, I remembered seeing them in the mob that killed my friend. The front of their pants were wet and they were babbling incoherently about ghosts and zombies, their faces were severely contorted. We weren't sure we wanted to investigate the explosion anymore and started to retreat when a young man walked up to us. "We're looking for a body, have you seen it?" I asked him.

Then he said my name. It was him. He was radiant, not a sign of the beating he'd received was left on his body, except for a few scars on his hands and feet. We fell at his feet and kissed him. Pulling us up he told us to go tell his staff where they could find him.

As per his instructions we gathered on his favorite mountain to meet him. He gave us some instructions and encouraging words and told us he wasn't staying here anymore. We all wanted to go with him. We could start over also. He didn't have to go by himself, his enemies were our enemies. As we were begging him to take us with him his head looked taller, looking down we noticed his feet were not on the ground anymore. The more we looked the higher off the ground his feet rose till we were looking at the bottom of his shoes. We all stepped back. Was this an other one of his wonderful acts, if so it superseded them all. Higher and higher he went till we saw him no more. The silence was deafening. No one wanted to admit what they saw. There were hundreds of us yet none of us believed our own eyes.

A voice attached to a white willowy figure informed us. "Close your mouths and go home, He'll come back again in the same fashion, keep your eyes open for him." The wispy figure dissolved into the air and we stumbled home filled with awe and a deeper love for mankind than I can ever explain.

We all broke up and went in different directions to spread the story of Jesus, our best friend and now our saviour. My name? Mary Magdalene. And no, I never slept with him or any of his followers for that matter. Leave my name out of the gossip mill.

extra terrestrials

People have pondered the possiblities of life on other planets for centuries. I have decided to come clean and shed some facts. There is life beyond this puny little mound of dirt referred to as earth. I know this for a fact as I'm from another world. Those like me soar through the galaxies vacationing and exploring. I've been to the galaxy you call the Milky Way frequently. I've sunbathed on Mars, danced on the rings of Saturn and watched the four moons of Jupiter rise. Your's is the only planet that hasn't gotten space exploration off the ground yet. Oh, you've made a few excursions to your moon and what you call Mars, but you're no where close to real space travel. Soon, though, soon. We have never tried to aide you in advancing your technology. Those reports of beings like me beaming you up and experimenting on you...fiction. Of helping you build those objects called pyramids...fiction. Believe it or not some of you earthlings have been capable of advanced thoughts. The reports of pulling you out of the sky or waters in the devil's triangle ...maybe.

We have longer life spans than earthlings. I was around when the fragments of dust and debris that scattered after the "big bang" collected to a huge mass and became this planet. I watched as the oceans and lakes separated from the land masses, as the mountains exploded from the waters, as the vegetation grew and florished. As the seasons took shape. As glaciers formed and melted. There were huge, magnificent monsters roaming the seas and lands then, devouring tons of food daily. Winged things with abundant colors took to the air and populated the skies.
We came by to watch occassionally as people pulled themselves upright and began to walk on two legs and spread over the land, this was much latter than the animals and after the war I'll relate in a few seconds. You were like roaches, multiplying and fanning out. We watched you discover fire, electricity, gas,indoor plumbing and horseless transportation. We saw you learn to cook your food instead of devouring it raw where it fell. We noticed your cruelty to each other. You humans seem to never tire of conflicts. We extra terrestials are amazed at the energy you devote to hating those that are different from yourselves. Wars are abundant on your globe. When we eventually intervene we'll end your destructive ways.

We are innumerable. Occassionally you see us in space as shooting stars or comets. We're not all friendly. We operate from a single command post where we get orders to survey the galaxies. Our comings and goings are monitored by only three that are in charge. Some of us rebelled against their authority thousands of years ago, sparking a terrific war. We loaded the trouble makers up and flung them into space causing one of their ships to crash on earth and pretty much destroy a vast territory. It killed millions of animals over night by radiation and more animals over a short time from the nuclear cloud that covered the land and hid the warming sunlight. That was a horrible tradgedy as we are kind hearted and hate to see life destroyed meaninglessly. Humans didn't rise out of the red clay for sometime after the crashing of our rejects in the center of the earth. Maybe the ground they came from was so contaminated with nuclear waste it destroyed their ability to evolve as much as we did. It could have tainted the way they perceived the attempts of our superiors to communicate with them??

Our malcontents decided to inter-marry with your kind and produced advanced children who weren't accepted by humans. They became outcasts and eventually were made into legends and myths, hence your science of mythology. We beheld these misfits get swept away in a huge flood. Since we feel some responsibility for the presence of our bad seeds on your habitation we police the region regularly to off set the damage done by our rebels. We spend most of our time repairing the damage they cause. Don't despair. We are planning another coup to overthrow the villians one last time. Being we have more numbers on our side we'll exterminate them in the end.

Some of us have been written about in your history books. We have on occasion appeared to individuals to help alter the direction of their lives. Some of us are assigned to your children for a number of years. Some of us escort your souls upward at death. Some of us just stand by you and ward off evil. We follow the orders of the triune that I mentioned earlier, who use us to assist you frail earthen vessels. They got the position of top dogs because they are even older than the rest of us. We all got our beginnings at some point in time but their beginnings are never ending. They are referred to as the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and we are their army of angels, the host of heaven, the inhabitants of space. Extra terrestials.

Guardians, Inc

We were in the debriefing room getting our assignments. There were too many of us to count but six of us would be receiving individual instructions. Twelve more would be getting another set of orders. This job was coming close on the heels of several other similar bittersweet incidents. It would be a rough night for a lot of people. Parents can't be everywhere, so we're on call for them twenty-four/ seven. We're Gaurdians, Incoporated. We've been specially selected to care for the young and we have excellent references. Our training is without reproach, our instructor has been in the people business for...let's just say a long time. No one really knows for sure how long.

We watched our surveillance camera as it tracked Man on his exploits. He had several malevolents trailing him that he was unaware of but dictated his every move. They were hideous looking outcasts, from our kingdom. Man had allowed them to enter into his life to torture him endlessly, it had been his choice. Several of our group were attempting to make contact with Man but he had us totally tuned out. They were sitting on his shoulder, yelling in his ear, trying to dissuade him, unsuccessfully. He was too far-gone to the wrong side. We couldn't interfere with free will. It was out of our hands.

Man entered a building and crept down the hallway, looking one way then the other. He was looking for a full room. He didn't want to waste his time doing a insignificant job. Finally. He busted in a door and unsuspecting faces turned to alarm when they realized their predicament. Screaming. There was lots of screaming and chaos. Chairs and desks toppled over. A window broke as someone attempted to escape. This was our cue to rush in behind him. He raised his weapon and started firing. Bodies fell and blood flowed. The scene was awful. We were able to miraculously deflect a few bullets, push a few heads lower than the missiles, encourage a few to play dead. The Boss was in charge of who lived and died. His ways were unquestionable. This phycical scene was nothing compared to what was about to go down!

Then Man turned the weapon on himself and we didn't attempt to intercede here. As he hit the floor those that had been his pseudo-friends broke out in raucous laughter. Man had successfully played the role they created for him and was no longer useful to them.

He slowly rose from were he fell, disembodied. Not peacefully but writhing in agony. No pity was offered him as one of my team members secured a chain to his ankle attached to a heavy weight and transported him to the nearest ocean. He was unceremoniously dumped into the midst of the water. He sunk, rather quickly, to the ocean's bottom where he joined others of his ilk. They were treacherous destroyers of youth and innocence. Man spewed forth profanities and curse's all the way down. His voice was buried amid all the wailing of the other miserable souls. They would stay here till that "Day" dawned. On that day, they'd go from the ocean to the fire. Their fate was sealed. Our leader had no sympathy for this type of evil and he had strict orders for eliminating trash of this kind. As good-hearted as my friends and I were this punishment gave us the greatest of delight. We have zero tolerance for sin. We had tried our darnedest to dissuade Man before things reached this magnitude. His wicked cohorts prevented us from reaching through to him. We felt no self-reproach. You either listen to us or not. It is your choice. We're simply messengers of the Greatest.

The small torsos lying on the floor began to shed their spirits, that sat up and looked about, confused but at peace. They patted their chests and felt no pain, much to their surprise. My friends and I went rapidly to their sides.

"Shh, it's alright. We're here for you." We announced as we reached for their petite hands. One little body wasn't totally motionless, his chest heaving slowly, up and down. His guardian laid her hand gently on his forehead. His tense little body relaxed. He wouldn't be ready to follow his friends soon but she made sure he'd feel no pain. They would join us shortly. Several other little bodies writhed in agony. They would mend eventually. Their angels would stay by their sides as long as they were needed.

Slowly, those of us with young souls to care for began to rise, guiding our charges upward. We went through the roof and towards their homes. We wafted by mothers hanging up clothes, and fathers sitting in offices. They had no idea how their lives had been changed. We allowed the parents a brief glimpse of their children. We allowed a reflection in the window, or an image in the clouds. A brief insight into their children's eternal fate, before the news reached them about the horror that had just been committed on their families. Several of our numbers stayed behind with the parents. It was their task to provide comfort and support in the bereavement process that was about to begin. The higher into the heavens we rose, the smaller our team became as we were dispatched to where we would be the most beneficial. To the house of a grandmother, stepfather, neighbor, school friend. Wherever we heard an agonizing cry, or felt a heart break.
We proceeded on past several planets and galaxies. We left the sight of the big bang millions of miles behind us. In seconds, earth's time, we were home with our new inhabitants. We were far from the prying eyes of the mightiest telescope. We entered the conference room surrounded by cheers. The young spirits were excited and joyous of all the attention. No separation anxiety, no fears, just pure bliss. But the conference room wasn't our final destination. We kept traveling onward to the throne room; it was here our dependents would stay. They would stay at the feet of Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, till they could be reunited with their families. Actually, family was already present since all genes were shared, down to Adam and Eve. Jesus never refused children from his presence on earth, so he would surely keep them safe in this royal haven. Never would they know a moment without love and joy though they'll be there ten thousand years and counting.

Math 10:28Math 18:2-10 2 Corin. 4:16-18

Man Made

The sound of the cash register chinging is music to my ears. The family business is prospering fantastically. It benefits the best after emergencieslike tsunamis, earthquakes, mudslides, volanoes and acts of terrorism. When society feels the most lost and the biggest need for answers.We are self sufficient, producing our own products from lumber we grow on acres of land outside of town. My relatives are very artistic. They can locate a horse, pig, bull or person hiding in any log of wood by simply whittling away anything that doesn't belong on said animals or persons. The rest of the wood is sent to compost piles or sold for fireplaces or grills, to either warm people in winter or cook their meals while camping. It's awesome watching something we grew as a sapling grow into a magnificent tree to be cut down, sanded and shaped into multiple styles of artwork.

We have a variety of products to choose from. Wooden fiqurines that can be carried in purses, breifcases or hung from a necklace or bracelet, then larger statues ranging from life size to monumental to place in gazebos, studies or offices. We have expensive and more affordable pieces, but the same value is applied to each article by it's prospective owners'.

The store is at capacity with people searching for various works of art. People well dressed, obivously successful, people in rags obviously hopeful and people inbetween. They all have deficiencies in their pathetic lives. Customers come in looking for generic statues that they can name themselves or one resembling known historic personalities. They spend as little as minutes to decide or hours. They spend time standing infront of the larger pieces with their eyes closed. Waiting, listening for vibes, a calling. They handle the smaller objects, rolling them around their palms, holding them up to their ears. What do they hear? I feel like opening a psychiatry office nearby for extra income. They buy the first time in or return repeatedly, waiting for a voice to call to them. We have a no hassle policy. The hearts of the majority of our clientel end up crying for our creations. They need something in their lives to adore and we are glad to provide them. Thank heavens for the gullible and those carried about with every wind of doctrine, without them I'd have to have and honest job.

People have such a need to kneel before something. To have a solid object in their line of vision to pray too. It fascinates me, this need of theirs being so irrational as to purchase something that was hand grown and forged into something they could worship. I saw the pieces from their mundane beginning. How can they believe this piece of oak that resembles a man could have a spiritual quality to it. How can we, flesh and blood, create something to say vespers to, to lie prostrate before. If we had the power to create devinity, shouldn't they just pray to us? We'd still be glad to take their money. I don't care about their illogical thoughts. Without illogical thinking my family and I would starve. We prey off of these individuals that idolize our works. I often wonder how powerful they make these objects. Can the same spirit they pray to be present in all their images at once making them as omnipresent as the One Lord. Not that I'm sure I believe in one Lord. It would defeat my way of life. I can make a better living offering a wide variance of venerated objects. Why limit myself. Christian stores don't pull in as much as me and my relatives do.The qualities of our deities aren't intimidating. If I were to describe them in a brochure it would read like this: They have eyes that can't see our sins,(or see our needs),lips that can't condemn us(or offer us advice), ears that aren't offended by our language(or can't hear our pleas for help), arms that can't point fingers at us for failing(or hold us for comfort, or keep us from falling), feet that can't follow us throughout the day(or be there to help us), hearts etched on their chests that can't be hurt by our mistakes(or feel our pain) and a head that has no brain to think ill of us (or think of us at all.) They certainly haven't spared anyone from a tsunami, or earthquake or any of the aforementioned dangers. But since our interests are self serving, what we printed in the yellow pages reads: Gods for sale, made of the best cedar, oak and cypress. Find a god for any occasion or need. Mastercard or Visa accepted.In my opinion, if we are really heading towards some divine destruction where we are sent hiding into the mountains and caves praying to be killed, these objects made by my clan will be absolutely useless. I hope we've amassed enough money at that time to buy our way out. Money is the only answer to live's hardships. Even I wouldn't hold our man made icons against some eteranal God head!!! That is, if you believe in such fairy tales.

Isaiah 44

the flu

The Flu?

I know what wonderful sisters I've been blessed with but I wish they would just leave me alone. I've been sick before, I only have the flu. All I want to do is close my eyes and sleep till I feel better, though the way I feel death would be an improvement. 

My oldest sister just poured the fifth bowl of chicken soup down my throat with an orange juice chaser. If she gives me anymore I'll throw up. Seriously, I've already proven that five times in the last few days. She is clearing up the bedside table now and all the bowls and glasses rattle as she walks out of the room. Turning one last time at the door to look at me she makes me feel like death warmed over.

 Finally I'm alone. Kicking off the blankets she tucked around me I fluff my pillow up and roll on my side in anticipation of a wonderfully welcomed nap. The rain pattered on the roof and the thunder cracked, mimicking my mood and lulled me to a deep dreamless sleep. 

I woke up to the feel of water on my face. Damn, is the roof leaking? Cautiously opening my eyes, one at a time, I found my youngest sister giving me a scented sponge bath and weeping furiously. Our pastor was next to her patting her shoulders.

 "This is it!" I yell, "I'm out of here!" I tried to push my sister out of my way as I jumped out of bed and made a rapid exit, I practically flew, thus I failed to notice something important I left behind in bed. Something fragrant with oils used on the dead, no less. And I, myself, smelled like a pansy. Give me a break.

 I went through my very crowded living room. Why were all these people here sobbing? Crying didn't keep them from eating though:\;who brought all this food all over the kitchen table? Not my sisters, they didn't like to cook. 

 No one bothered to even say hi to me in my own home. They all looked right through me. Have my sisters gotten everyone upset about me? It was just the flu!  As I closed the front door the sound of weeping followed me down the walkway. At least it stopped raining. The sun is shining brighter than I've seen in ages. I actually feel pretty good now. That nap was magically restorative. I stretched my arms over my head and leaned from side to side. Filling my lungs with freshly laundered air I started down the path. A walk will do me good, hopefully I'll return in more lively spirits. I know I’ll have to apologize to sis. She was only trying to be helpful. I hadn't even spoken to the house guests. I know I'll get a lecture on manners as well, but hell, I didn't invite them, I didn't feel good enough for visitors.

I walked for some time going uphill and turned down a lane I'd never seen before. Strange I hadn't noticed these houses from my place; they were huge and towering over the landscape. People were out enjoying the post rain afternoon. I started seeing some familiar faces I hadn't seen in eons, so this is where they moved. 

"Hey, Old buddy, how’s it going?" 

I turned to see who had smacked my shoulder. "Hey, Fred, You're looking great, I heard you had cancer." 

"Old story, been cured!"
  

"Fantastic!" I replied. Looking around I noticed another friend a block or two away. "Isn't that Greg? I heard he had a heart attack."  

"Yep. He did. He's lucky to be here today."  

We chatted for a while as people walked by and yelled out greetings. The real estate agent that got commission for selling houses in this new addition should have been able to retire off the sale of one mansion by itself. 

"Isn't that your sister talking to someone over there?" Fred queried.  

Squinting I looked in the direction Fred was pointing. There was a haze of clouds in the air between us but I could make my sister out down in a valley talking with a man who had his back towards me.
  

She appeared really agitated with him. After a few seconds she ran into the house and my other sister came out to see the man and wagged her finger at him.  

He kept shrugging his shoulders unable to get any words into the conversation. I wish the poor guy would turn around so I could see him, all I could  see was long hair flowing over broad shoulders.

 I was beginning to feel weak again and ice cold. I must have overdone things. "Fred, I've got to go. Let's keep in touch."

"Sure thing man, see ya."  

Then something happened that's never happened to me before. I blacked out. Somewhere in the fog that filled my brain I heard someone calling my name. I shot up in bed and hit something with my head. Whatever it was flew across the room and bounced off the wall. Complete and absolute darkness surrounded me. The air had a musty aroma. I sprang out of bed, (where did the side rails come from?) and reached for my lamp but couldn’t find it. Stumbling about I couldn't feel anything but concrete walls. 

 There went my name again. "Wait a second, I'm in here!" I yelled, panic edging my voice. The door blew open and light showered in. I eagerly went to the doorway where sheer pandemonium started taking place outside.  

What the hell was going on? Shading my eyes and blinking tears back from the sunlight I heard people screaming, I caught glimpses of women swooning. Men were running around with cell phones in their hands. I heard snippets of Conversation:

"Get some ambulances here..."  

"Call the news station...." 

"Get these women off the ground..."  

"Mom , you won't believe this....."  

"Anyone got a video camera..."  

"He's back...." The sound of sirens and helicopters added to the bedlam, looking up I saw the NBC news chopper landing, looking at the street I saw ambulances parking and the paramedics pulling out stretchers. 

My sisters materialized on either side of me and helped me down some steps. Where did these steps come from? I could feel their warm tears on my cheek and hear their laughter. Good gosh, do these girls ever stop caterwauling? They were leading me to the man I'd seen them talking to earlier. I had just exited the family mausoleum. Why were we here, who died? A shattered coffin lid laid on the floor behind me. Oh my, was that my name on the plaque? The last time I checked you had to be dead to be buried. The man I was being ushered to was in front of the sun so I couldn't make out his identity but he approached me and clasping my hand in his he pulled me into an enormous hug.  

"Welcome back Lazarus." I was being personally embraced by the Resurrection and the Life, my best friend who had dined at my house often. I guess I  really did have a really bad case of the flu after all.