easter madness

we glided smoothly down onto the runway. Real smooth, not a bump, tremor or vibration, no wind shear. It was dark, real dark but our night vision goggles were high quality, the first set off the factory floor. Our boss was a genius at creating inventions to bring light into the darkness, shame he hadn't gotten copy rights for any of his contraptions, he'd be rich..er...richer.

 

"I told you we would be too early," my companion groused, looking at the star filled sky. Daybreak was hours away. “We might be early but things don’t look quite kosher,” he added as he analyzed the vicinity.

 

"Hey, let’s prowl around for a few hours. We're two bachelors, foot loose and fancy free. Let's do some sightseeing!" I implored.  

"No way, we're here on a mission and I don't want you to lose focus. You know how you can be." Mike said, sitting down on a brick wall. He had our target in sight and being the serious all work no play dude he was, he wasn't about to get back up, or back down. “Plus, I’m still not sure things are adding up right,” he added as he looked about our surroundings. 

Oh man, what a drag. We don't get to town very often and I wasn't about to let this free time go to waste.  

"Well, you can sit there and grow more feathers if you want, I'm out of here." I said.  

About that time something skipped by.  Something really odd, so odd it even snagged Mike's attention.

"Tell me you saw that. No, don't; I'm not sure I want to know I saw that!" Mike explained as he squinted off into the darkness.  

But yes, I did see it. And yes, I was going to follow it. I picked up my feet and made them work; I was a little out of practice using my legs as I normally flew mostly everywhere I went.  

"I told you I wanted to do some sightseeing, and man, that was some sight to see." Mike was close on my heels, abandoning his station. Who's losing focus now? 

As we followed our quarry through a residential area we noticed houses decorated with big plastic eggs, rabbits, and ribbons all in pretty pastels. Quarry cut through a business zone where we lost him in a crowd of parents and kids standing in line in front of a Confectioners’ store that had some joker dressed up in a bunny suit with a crowd of kids yammering to sit on his lap. A big pink bunny suit on a—was that a grown, mature man? He ought to be ashamed of himself. I'd have to have been hypnotized to dress like that; or in full blown Alzheimer’s (at least in public, I do own the cutest, fuzziest bunny slippers that I wear for leisure, but I digress.) The Bunny was sitting on a candy throne surrounded by candy decorations, candy dishes, candy bags, and mobs of sugar junkies, having his picture taken for posterity with the kids, one by one as the parents stood by watching and laughing. What a way to make a living. The extraordinary sized bunny had a bow tie, a straw hat complete with brilliant spring flowers, long floppy ears and two of the biggest front teeth I’ve ever seen. Those weapons would have kept me from wanting to sit in his lap let alone be on the same planet as him.  

Oh, there he went; our target. We jump started ourselves onto the trail again: running as fast as we could Quarry still stayed way ahead. This fellow should try out for the Olympics; the Special Olympics, because he certainly was special.  The oddity we followed went from house to house peeking in windows till he popped into one causing us to brake to a halt. Actually I braked, Mike crashed into me, that’s what he gets for being so close.  This guy had broken in. As we peered in the window we watched him place something big and colorful on a night stand before he jumped out another opening.  He was sure a fast little character; we were out of breath chasing him. I know I wanted to see the town, but now I hope we'll be able to find our original destination on time.       

Mike continued the pursuit while I flitted into the bedroom to see what was left behind making myself equally guilty of entering a domicile illegally. I discovered I was in a little child’s nursery; an occupied nursery.  In the bed was a cute little peacefully slumbering brunette cherub, with rosy pink cheeks and naturally red lips, pursed into a cute little O. She couldn't have been older than six. Oh, she appeared so precious and innocent. A distinctive blessing from God.

I picked up the basket that had been left on her nightstand and examined the contents. Loads of chocolate candy shaped like bunnies, marshmallow eggs, M&M's. Sugar overload, coupled with stuffed animals, coloring books and a bubble gun.  Oh, I love these, I thought as I picked up a small bottle.  You use soap and a little round wand and blow bubbles that catch the sunlight all over the room and make miniature rainbows. I was essentially toying with the idea of blowing a few suds before leaving but I got that feeling; you know the feeling where someone is watching you. I carefully looked over to the bed and, yep, Cherub had her big brown eyes trained on me. I was terrified that she would scream for mommy seeing big ole me standing in her room, holding her little basket.  

Those eyes pierced me through. She sat slowly up in her little training bed, wearing her flannel Little Mermaid nightie and swung her legs over the side. She was going to run screaming for mommy. This was awful, No one was to know we were in town yet.  

Those big brown waiflike peepers stayed fixed on me as her adorable little mouth moved. Out came the words, “Put the basket down and back off before I call for the police.” She held up a pink cell phone for emphasis.   

Huh. Not a problem; let me tell you the shock factor works. I knew beyond a doubt I could take her but her unexpected bravado, not the least bit faked by the way, scared me. I flew out the way I came in without a second’s hesitation but a little surprised at the technology; I hadn’t expected cell phones to be on the scene quite so early. I really should have paid more attention in history class.

 Outside on the street Mike was coming back towards me, looking concerned; a current newspaper in his hand. “Now I’m positive we’re late not early. We over shot our mark by I’d say—two millennia, give or take a decade or two, not to mention a few thousand miles off course.” Mike stated as he pointed to the date and current American city in the upper right hand corner.  

“We need to get back and make some adjustments before we blow everything.” Mike said as he nodded to the sky. Over in the east golden rays were punching into the darkness. Dawn of the first day of the week; apparently of the wrong week, the wrong century, the wrong millennia,the wrong continent, was breaking. 

With a hearty flourish of our wings we accelerated our speed to race backwards in time as we retraced our way back to the stone cave that was our proper rendezvous.

Upon on arrival we walked up to the two sentries who stood guard to introduce ourselves but they took one look at us and went catatonic; mentally AWOL. I waved my hands in their faces. Nothing. What was wrong with them? The night will someday be filled with bunnies hopping around breaking into homes delivering saran wrapped baskets crammed with eggs and candy and the sight of us put trained military men into a trance. What is this world coming too? Or should I say, what’s coming to the world? 

 Oh, I just couldn’t resist, the imp in me battled with the angel in me, (guess which one won.) I filled my cheeks with air and—phffff. …One big breath and they fell backwards like tin soldiers; they ought to be grateful I hadn’t eaten onions tonight. A giggle caught in my throat and brought tears to my eyes before Mike nudged my shoulder, not the least bit impressed with my shenanigans, he reminded me of our mission. Can’t a guy have fun at his job?   

An explosive light flashed inside the brick building. No sound, just a blinding bright light; oh yeah, and a small earthquake. It was the power surge that was our cue to roll the enormous stone away that blocked the entrance, or exit. 

Together we pushed rolled the stone away singing in unison, "Rise and shine, Room service."  

There He stood, in the middle of the mausoleum He had been placed in by a local rich politician. Wow, we whistled.  The rich really know how to die, I thought, as I examined the elaborate confines of the crypt. Like I said earlier, He stood in the center in all his radiance and glory. He had survived three days, pulse less, without decay or any other of the terrible side effects of decomposition. He had conquered death.

Mike and I slapped Him on his back and embraced him joyfully. He had been gone from his heavenly kingdom for thirty three earth years, a total of thirty three seconds in our dimension; still we exuberantly celebrated our reunion.  

He looked around the deserted graveyard, mystified, and asked the question we dreaded to hear. "Where is everyone?" By everyone he had referred to His disciples, the very ones he had detailed His death and resurrection to for three long years. He had also referred to His followers and all those He had died for (which is the population of the whole earth). He had hoped that someone would be on hand to greet Him in His return from death, after all, that was something even the great Houdini would fail to accomplish. (Don’t know who that was? look him up.)

 In a futile attempt to skirt the issue, I leaned over to fold His death robe; a robe emblazoned with His very image, a perfect match to His likeness. I wouldn't be surprised if some entrepreneur would mass produce the image on coffee cups and t-shirts someday.  

 I left it to Mike to explain, eager to see if he would add in his explanation that the Lamb of God would someday be replaced by a cute fuzzy bunny that snuck into houses delivering chocolate eggs and candy and about his crony, a bigger pink bunny on steroids with radically bad teeth.  

Mike sighed; relieved, when he heard the voices of two women as they approached with jars of burial spices. We were going to be temporarily spared the inevitable explanation that the world was going to someday celebrate Easter instead of His resurrection.