Friday, July 18, 2008

overboard!

That was the most fascinating thing I’ve ever witnessed. I know people can pull through in a crisis but this wasn’t really a crisis. So some would go to bed hungry tonight, so what? But after the motivational “speaker” was through with his spontaneous presentation one little boy brought up his uneaten lunch to share with this colossal crowd and suddenly everyone was inspired to share theirs with those that had nothing. It was like Woodstock, except everyone was high on love, not dope. (Not that I’m old enough to remember Woodstock, I just heard about it!)

Now with a full stomach I was ready to head home. There were boats pulling out from the dock now, so I took that as my cue to gather my stuff together. As I headed down hill I spied the “speaker” heading up hill, by himself. Pretty brave fellow, there were wild animals in this area. I didn’t see anything on him that resembled a weapon, not that hunting was allowed this time of year. I hope he knows what he’s doing.

I found a craft accepting one more body and climbed aboard. I discovered the “speaker’s” traveling buddies were going across with me. They were staring after “speaker” mumbling to themselves and shaking their heads. Apparently they thought he should be with us. Oh well. He was an adult.

The sky was dark, of course it was well past sunset, but it was dark in that way that indicates heavy clouds were between us and the solar system. I just wanted to get to the other side where my car was parked so I could get home.

Plip, plop. Plip, plop. Here it comes, half way across the body of water; the big body of water. Land on either side of us was invisible. The wind whipped about, the waves sloshed up, the heavens opened, rain descended; and me without a raincoat or umbrella. Those that had umbrellas weren’t fairing to well anyway. What was supposed to be domed protection from the elements had now become cone shaped containers for the rain. The umbrella owner’s were shaking them furiously in disappointment and frustration, coming close to snagging a few eyes from those too close.

I was close to the rail holding on for dear life, but surprisingly exhilarated. People were complaining and whining but I was just going with the flow, no pun intended. What else could I do? “Speaker” had just finished telling us that worrying didn’t change circumstances or make us bigger, I had no trouble believing that, especially as my aging body was actually shrinking from disc degeneration.

The vessel dipped into a large wave and I lost my hold on the slippery rail. That wouldn’t be so bad if I had fallen inward, but no, my traitorous body fell outward, into the raging water. Down, down I went, till I started back up; at least I think it was up, in the dark water up and down looked pretty much the same! My head popped up above the waves so I could witness the craft continue on its journey.

Okay, I think the word panic is underrated. Now I have something to worry about and “Speaker” was right, worrying wasn’t going to get me out of this predicament, er.. . water. My mouth and eyes filled with water from under me and above me. Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink. My shoes were keeping me from treading water easily so I tried to pull them off.

The boat! It was coming back! I saw light scanning the surface, they were looking for me! But at this point I think it was going to be a recovery mission. I wasn’t going to last much longer, fluid was going into my lungs and my strength was waning. They would never see my small brunette head in this massive lake in the dark. Boy, what a pessimist, one little thing goes wrong and I give up.

The light hit something behind me. In front of me? Beside me? Oh heck which direction is which when you’re sinking in water? Like I said, the light hit something and stayed focused on it. What was it? A hallucination! I must be close to death, I hear you see things in the other world when you’re almost ready to give up the spirit. It was a human form approaching, casually as though taking a stroll on a well tread path. I stopped flaying and stared, ready to ascend to heaven (or so I hoped, remembering my not so good life.)

The silhouette stopped in front of me, squatted down and placed his hands on his knee, rain dripping from the brim of his hat, reminding me of an old country western song. It was “Speaker”! He met my eyes and smiled. I’m glad someone could smile, my mouth was wide open, not a good thing when you’re neck deep in water. Water splashed in my mouth, I spit it back out, more water came in, I repeated the cycle.

“Uh, do you mind giving me a hand here?” I queried, sort of offhandedly.

“Does it matter which hand?” Oh, great, a champion with a sense of humor.


“Not really.” I sputtered. A hand came down to me and pulled me up, slowly. Backing away he continued to assist me. My feet rose until I was only up to my ankles. I felt as though I was walking on solid ground, but I pointed my toes and prodded about, nothing but water. Amazing. Speaker didn’t seem perturbed about the lack of substance below us. Presumably, this was no big deal to him.

Without letting go of my hand, (with the death grip I had on his he wouldn’t have been able too), Speaker led me to the boat’s ladder through the torrent with no apparent urgency, conversing nonchalantly about how the area farmers needed this rain. I was unable to contribute to the dialogue, being in some level of shock. Hands reached for me to facilitate my rescue. I could only imagine the looks on their faces as the lights aimed at us were blinding me.

As I ascended the steps Speaker whispered in my ear,”Let’s not tell them where the sand bar is.” Sandbar? There wasn’t one! I know, remember, I had searched with my feet. There was nothing under us. Well, miles of water, but absolutely no sandbar. Was Speaker playing with my mind?

Once I was aboard every one backed away unsure if they were observing a ghost while Speaker scrambled over the side rail. His pals were the only ones plucky enough to approach him and give him unnecessary aid. He walked on water yet needed help over the side rail, give me a break!

The winds continued, slapping water in our ears, so we couldn’t hear anything that was said between Speaker and his cohorts, but we saw a lot of gesticulating towards the sky and cloudburst. It looked as if the twelve men were giving Speaker what for about the weather, as though it was his fault! Give me a break (again), no one can control nature.

As we all scrutinized the encounter, Speaker raised his arm and moved his lips, (I’m sure audibly to his pals, but we cowards stayed too far to perceive his words. The waters stopped churning and the deluge wrapped up, I genuinely mean wrapped up. No tapering off, no slowing down, just stopped. Suddenly. The clouds were gone, moonlight and stars filled the heavens and Speaker laid down on a nearby bench to rest. What could he be exhausted about, I was the one who had treaded water for …..Well I want to say forever but that would be an exaggeration. Speaker laid down to rest and so did I, though not as voluntarily. Those nearby barely kept my head from cracking on the floorboards. That would have been ironic, rescued from the deep only to suffer a concussion aboard ship! When I wake up I’m sure I’ll discover this was one heck of a dream…Or will I?

Math 14:13-33
mark 6:30-51
luke 8:22-25

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Outing


I couldn't get over it! I was used to my daughter, Cindy, text messaging people when we were alone in the car together, but tonight she had a friend with her and they were both text messaging and conversing with each other at the same time. I hope they didn't get their verbal and electronic conversations mixed up! I was just the taxi driver taking them to the camp grounds in an effort to escape all things Halloween. At least I had Scruffy, my reliable terrier, in the passenger seat to keep me company. I glanced at him only to find he was tex messaging Mr. Sandman. Oh well, at least I had a warm body next to mine. I reached over to scratch his favorite spot...anywhere on his body...to receive a grateful lick on the hand before he readjusted himself.
The back seat conversation stopped. Then griping started. The phones were losing signals. Great, now they'll have to have an old fashion conversation where two people talk to the only two people present, (obviously I know better than to include myself). They were on untested territory now.

It was so dark I couldn't see the street let alone any street signs. We were way past any major housing area or shopping malls. Way past any street lights. Way past the reach of moon light. We should be near the state park with the comfortable cabin I had rented for the night. But no, I suspected we were lost. Again. My GPS was telling me to turn back, go right, go left, back up, go forward and recite the Gettysburg address while patting my tummy and rubbing my head. The useless piece of plastic was malfunctioning. Hmmm, the cell phones, now the GPS.

The wind picked up and Lightening flashed across the sky. One, two, three. Then thunder followed. The storm was three miles away. Great, if I couldn't see on a starless, moonless night, seeing in a deluge will be .....challenging. I loathed challenges.

Cindy screamed. The next lightening/thunder episode sent her into panic. She hates storms. I hate her screaming, but the light streaking across the sky illuminated the ground enough for me to see a break in the horizon were a building stood. A lightless, dark silhouette. I pulled off the road, literally, and aimed my car beams into the field. The car lights went out. Of course, what else. We bumped over rocks and gravel while tall grass brushed against my rear view mirror.

The car stopped (did the battery just die?) in front of an old wooden plank house, two stories tall with broken windows, and open doors swinging in the wind. Cindy and Ginger just stared at me as I stepped out and grabbed my duffle bag.

"What are you doing?" Cindy asked.
"Ever hear of getting out of the rain?" I retorted.

Lightning flashed. One. Thunder. This motivated my usually sublime Scruffy into action as he leapt past me, up the steps and through the doorway. I was close behind. Cindy and Ginger considered staying in an empty car in the dark and rain for about one, two...{lightening, thunder}, seconds. Having left the car after me, they got into the structure before me. Oh, to be young and agile again. And terrified of thunder.

Dust and old furniture was everywhere. None of that covered stuff like you see on TV. Just dusty furniture and cobwebs. Leaves, animal scat, broken planks, pieces of the ceiling and peeling sheet rock were scattered over the floors, I flicked the light switch on. Guess what? They didn't work. Go figure. Old, empty house, no electricity.

I pulled out my flashlight-radio-TV-tool box combo I got for Christmas one year. I remember thinking, I'll never use this, but more than one happenstance has forced me to eat my words. Then I said, "Let there be light!" The flash light worked for nano seconds then went dead. I couldn’t get any action on the TV or radio either, to determine the strength of the impending tempest about to overtake us.

"Lets go back to the car!" Cindy pleaded. Scruffy was sniffing around and whining. His hair was standing on edge. Not an encouraging behavior from a pet with extra sensory perception.

"I don't know about you, but I'd rather be inside on a night like this. I'm going to go get our food and grill. You guys grab the sleeping bags and other gear. This is where the trip ends tonight kids." I announced with determination.

"What!" Cindy wailed.

"Hey, we just wanted to get away from the "trick or treaters" tonight. I doubt any will show up here!" I declared. I hope I can get a refund on the cabin.

Ginger nudged Cindy and whispered in her ear. Cindy didn't look receptive to whatever the secret was but she shrugged in resignation. Might as well, kiddo, I wasn't going to change my mind.

The house was perfect for our campout. My small gas powered grill was well ventilated in this spaciously airy room and gave some light. The rain poured outside...and indoors. It was just like camping out. Really. I could make the best out of this. After a nice meal of hot dogs, chips and Mrs. Bairds pastries Scruffy and I went in search of sleeping quarters using a small flashlight that flickered unpredictably. Cindy and Ginger's whisperings told me they wanted to be alone...together. I don't know what they had up their sleeves but it wasn't going to include me. Hurt feelings? Na. I spent enough nights with girlfriends talking about boys, I just hoped tonight Cindy could get some gospel down Ginger.

I found a sofa in the next room (by jamming my foot into it) where I laid my sleeping bag. Scruffy yawned and crawled up on my lap. Even though he slept through the car ride and most of dinner he was still able to find dream land, and he brought me along this time.

I don't know how long I was out but an odd cold blast woke me. Of course I didn't remember where I was, after all I'm old with short term memory deficits, which comes in handy when you're raising teenagers. Scruffy was sitting by the door, growling. A shadow passed in the hallway, then another, followed by another blast of cold air. I doubt this house had airconditioning, it didn’t even have electricity.

Cindy and Ginger must be exploring. No. That wouldn't make Scruffy growl. I shivered. If I was dead I'd say someone was walking on my grave. I tugged on the zipper to free myself from my sleeping bag and made my way to the door, careful to not jam my still aching foot into any more pieces of furniture. Scruffy kept his eye on me, ready to flee in the opposite direction at any sign of hesitation. Good guard dog.

The girls were huddled over a game board illuminated by our butane lamp. I felt like we weren't alone and Scruffy's uneasiness wasn't helping.

I crept up on the duo and peeked over their shoulders. All I could see was some board with alphabets on it. They were holding on to some triangle thing that was sliding around.

I brushed against Cindy, badly startling her."Don't do that!" she cried.

"What are you guys doing?"

Looking at each other for confirmation that is was okay to divulge their activities they both talked at once,"We're talking to the owner of the house!"

"The phones are working again! Great. I'll call your dad to tell him we're okay." I said, digging my cell phone out of my jeans.

"No. We're talking to them through this board. " Cindy explained as if I was an ignorant child and she was a newly enlightened being.
"Huh."

"Mom, this is cool. Ginger brought this for fun. It's called a Ouija board. You ask it questions and it spells out answers. We're communicating with the other world! It's great. We're learning about what happened to the lady that used to live here." Cindy was really excited. I was really shocked. I had learned in church years ago that Ouija boards were worse than playing with fire. They were tools Satan used to ensnare humans into the occult. ‘This wasn't good’ was my last thought before............the gas powered lamp went out and we were in utter darkness again. (Except for the occasional lightening burst)

A flame sprang up in the ancient fireplace preceding some howling. Lots of howling and scary laughter. Don't let anyone tell you laughter is always good for the soul, because my soul shriveled up at the sound of this particular laugh. Two wispy apparitions stepped out of the roaring blaze an ran through the room; a lady in a cotton dress, house shoes and an apron, with a huge gash in her back dripping blood, being chased by a rough looking man with coveralls, a t-shirt torn in the underarms and an old hat, carrying a butcher knife, dripping blood. Presumably the previous owner and her killer. Scruffy, ears flattened, poked his nose at the throw rug on the floor and glided under. The rug trembled. The air chilled considerably. How can demons from a fiery hell cause such a chill?

As I said before, the two visitors ran through the room, literally. They came out of the south wall and vanished through the north wall. Then back through the south wall to the north wall. A perpetual ritual performed just for us. It only took six performances before we were able to get our feet to cooperate and.....run. We toppled all over each other in our rush to the exit.

Jumping in the car we all slammed the locks down. Okay, we saw the phantoms go through walls but we still locked the doors to keep them out. No logic was involved.

"Yap, yap yap, woof, woof!" Scruffy ordered. (Translation: Hit the gas, lady!") Then he made a heroic dive under the front seat, pulling his tail in after him. My poor brave baby.

"Come on mom, let's get out of here!" Cindy pleaded.

"Can't " I wailed. "My keys are in my purse!"Cindy and Ginger looked recklessly about for my purse, crawling into the trunk and hurling things."It's in there." I sighed, “In the house!”

Cindy and Ginger moaned and we all stared at the house, paralyzed, mentally and physically. What to do? What to do? I sure wasn't going back in there? I could send Cindy, after all, I was still young, I could have more children. No. What was I thinking? I could send Ginger, she wasn't mine.

Scruffy wiggled out from under the seat. He was in control now; I could see assurance in his demeanor. Clamped firmly between his canines was an old New Testament that had found it's way under the car seats. I don't even recall owning that book, but I do recall the words that came immediately to mind upon sight of the little green cover (were the words god-breathed?) "greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world".

"I've had enough!" I stated opening the car door and marching up the steps. Cindy and Ginger had no idea what I was doing, being in the back seat on a dark night in the pouring rain, they didn't see what I retrieved from Scruffy's mouth. They did see and hear me leave the car, much to their terror. They felt compelled to follow me, not wanting to be forsaken in the car. They were such wimps, I reflected.

Marching up the steps I pitched the door open and met the shadow people head on. They were now in their true forms, not victim and criminal but cohorts in evil. They drifted towards me, unsuspecting of their predicament till.....they saw it. The book! But it was the expression on my face that unnerved them. I was angry. I was not scared. I was convinced I had authority over them!

Wispy arms covered their faces as they screeched their protests. They were goners and they knew it.

"Get out of here and leave us alone!" I ordered waving the Word of God about like a sword. Then added, "In Jesus' name!” I foolishly felt as though my shoulders had little cheer leaders dressed in white perched on them, waving feathery pom-poms and cheering me on. I could actually hear their little voices in my head, encouraging me. “Rah, Rah, Rah. Go, girl, go.”

Oh my gosh. The demons squirmed. They squealed. They painfully disappeared. Scruffy, hot on my heels,(I use the word hot carefully) ran over to the abandoned Ouija board and, snatching it in his mouth trotted over to the dying blaze in the fireplace and tossed it in with a flourish, then yapped good riddance to bad trash.

The flashlights and radio I had tried early blared on, and my phone starting ringing. Hubby had been frantically trying to contact me. Sure I was fine, I informed him, why wouldn’t I be? I winked at the girls; it was too long a story to divulge right now.

We actually finished the night off in peace and quiet, teaching Ginger about Jesus and his power over evil, boy was Satan mad we were able to bring good out of his evil intentions. Having seen the worst of the invisible world, Ginger was able to accept the magnificent story of redemption.

The next morning while we repacked the car, a teenage boy on a bicycle rode up. "You guys didn't spend the night in the old Crammer house, did ya'?” he asked incredulously. “It's haunted!"

"Not anymore!" We all said in unison as I started the engine up and we headed home leaving a very stunned and impressed lad staring after us.

Scruffy, standing with his paws on the passenger’s window, watched the porch fade from view. A porch that held two glowing cheerleaders, dressed in white, holding feather pom-poms. The same heavenly cheer leaders who had given him the bible when he was under the car seat to remind me of my connection to the Ruler of the Universe. They looked upward and with a single leap faster than a bullet they went home, mission accomplished.

Lev. 19:26
Duet. 18:14
Micah 5:12
Gal. 5:20
James 4:7
1 John 4:4