Ooops

Man, was I ever exhausted. I had had a long hard day at work, overtime to boot. It's not like I had a hard job. I just sat at the head of a sleeping patient and kept him/her asleep till the operation was over. Not much to it. Child's play. A little of this drug a little of that and boom, asleep or awake. Which do you want, doctor? Oh, the surgery's not over yet? Okay, I'll give some of this stuff here.

Now, I'm heading home. It's late an I'm chilling to some good CD's, enjoying the lovely country road. Trees standing tall on both sides of the road, which is barely wide enough for one car. The cool breeze of evening blowing in my open window, whistling through my hair. I could see the sun getting ready to set over the treetops. Mixing many colors into one, a fantastic explosion of art.

My purse was on the dashboard and as I manuevered a tricky turn it sailed to the the floor. Of course it had to open and scatter all it's contents under my feet. Tubes of lipstick and mascara rolled under the brakes and gas pedal. How annoying. I peeked into the rear view mirror. Nothing. I looked ahead. Nothing. Why stop? I can just lean over and stretch for..........Bang!!!! bang, bang, clank, bang, clink, pop. What the heck?

Suddenly something smashed me in the face and vanished. Did a bird fly in window? What's going on? Where am I? What is pulling on my shoulder? I shook my head as if that would give me answers. I then tried blinking my eyes open and shut. Open and shut. The white air bag is deflated in front of me. Something is really off here. My hair is falling up! No. My seat belt is what's digging into my shoulder because it's holding me in my seat...upside down! My hair is falling down, not up! My wallet, makeup, pens and cell phone were resting quietly on the ceiling, taunting me.

I reach my arm up to undo the seat belt and descend to the roof, not with grace might I add. My knees smashed me in the nose already sore from the deployed airbag and by feet swung into my mouth. Remind me to use athelete's foot powder when I get home. Otherwise I don't seem to have any fatal injuries. Unless you can die from damaged pride.

Thank heavens the window is still open enough for me to crawl out. Where on earth is the earth? The sky is below me and I was staring at the river bed a few feet above me. The world was upside down. Time to squirm out the opening. (This isn't easy as the window opening and my body size aren't compatable.)

Standing on slippery rocks I gawk at my car. The hood and trunk are resting on boulders in a stream bed, the roof two feet from running water. My two feet were three feet deep in cold flowing fluid. I wade to the shore and assess the steep bank. I need to climb about two stories to be street level. Here goes. Pulling weeds and roots I toiled upward. My clothes snagged and ripped. No wonder Jane and Tarzan wore skimpy outfits. Nature was hard on a wardrobe, I'm surprized their bodies weren't road mapped with stitches. I thumped my knees and elbows against jutting obstacles, spewing unlady like vocabulary. My hands were going to need a good manicure after this. I'm more marred from my escape than my accident. Drats, one of my shoes splashed into the stream.

I finally got to the side of the road, scratched, bloody, bruised and totally pissed at myself since I omitted getting my purse and cell phone. Well I knew how to get down there and get back up. Nope. No way. I'll just pray for help to come down this deserted backway.

Wait, I see car lights coming down the road. I stood and flagged down an older couple. They actually stopped to help me. I wouldn't have stopped to help me!! If I saw someone as bloody and dirty as I appeared right now, I think I'd have hit the accelerator a bit heavier!(By now I knew to keep my eyes on the road!) Boy I hope their kids give them what for when they hear about this!! Elderly people are targets for potentially fraudulent acts like this.

They even got out of their Toyota and peered over the edge at my mishap. "Man, lady. God must have been with you!" Grandpa declared, as grandma dialed 911 on her cell."Yea, and I darn near killed him!!!"Maybe you should have let him drive."

Fictional account of a true story!!!